Anita,

Since my last post, a big huge thing happened.   First I need to back track a little bit.  Two summers ago, my brother his wife, and her sister all went in together to purchase an above ground pool.  Since my brother’s back yard isn’t flat, they all decided to have it installed at his wife’s sister’s house since her yard is flat.   Ok..so no big deal on that end.   My sister n law invited me and my 2 grown boys who are 20 and 24 over to swim and to have a cook out a week ago.    I said ok fine and I will bring a covered dish.   I knew her sister and that obnoxious boyfriend of hers were gonna be there too.   My brother’s 2 girls were gonna be there along with my nephew and his girlfriend. Ages 13-18.   My sister n laws mom was there also.  My husband had to work so he could not go.   I figured it will be nice to swim and enjoy everyone’s company and have fun since it was a very hot day.  I had arrived with my youngest son and my oldest arrived a little later.   When I arrived there was adult beverage bottles and cans all over the pool deck .  All the adults were drunk including my brother.  And when I mean drunk…I mean drunk!   I do not drink because I live the furthest away. So I just ignored it all and swam and talked to my nieces and the rest of the kids and my sister n law.   Her sister’s bf started to be very obnoxious and loud.  Lots of profanity.  No one likes him except my brother.   Well, all of a sudden my sister n law told him that she will never swim in his pool because he had said he swims nude and who knows what he does in there.   Well that conversation turned into more profanity and perverted remarks about penises .   He directed that coversation to my youngest son who is 20.  (I get it….all kids no matter what age are subjected to some form of  profanity or they look stuff up, talk about it amongst their friends etc.  We all did at that age.)    My son can’t stand this guy at all.  I had made the motion the bf to knock it off because it was becoming annoying. He eventually did.   My son mumbled f-you to the bf several times.   I had told my son to be quiet, but he doesn’t care.  He is like me in so many ways.   Anyways….I was annoyed because my 13 year old niece was in the pool and my sister n laws mom was getting irritated.   And noone would say anything to this guy.    The guy has no respect towards women or towards the kids in the pool.  Noone wants to hear that when you and others are trying to enjoy yourself.   The guy kept telling my other niece to get him another drink and she did.  I told her that she didn’t have to get it and that he should get it himself like the other adults are.    Well that didn’t fly over too well either.   Then I got out of the pool because my mom had called asking if I was stopping over later to get something.    My mom heard this guys mouth and was getting pissed because the youngest grand kid (my niece) shouldn’t be listening to all that and for my brother to tell this guy to knock it off.   I was telling her what was going on.    Then I hung up with her.   Then my husband called but I didn’t tell him what was going on until later.    My oldest son and youngest son had left because they had plans with their friends later on that day.   I was sitting on the deck and out comes my sister n law’s sister out of the house yelling….”I’m sick and tired of all the comments being made about Mark (her bf’s name) and telling him to f off.   I’m tired of people telling other people what is going on here on the phone”.   I was like wtf….and was like who over heard my conversation and had the nerve to tell her what I was saying!    Then shit hit the fan!  My brother started yelling at me, then her bf started saying he didn’t care who likes him and if I had a problem with him.  Then it got worse…..he wouldn’t stop screaming at me and I told him to go f off!    Then he comes charging out of the pool onto the deck and in my face screaming at me acting like some tough ass!   I kept telling him to get out of my face and that i wasn’t afraid of him.    I told him to go f off and that he was a drunk ass piece of shit with no respect to those around him and my brother just stood there letting this happen.   Then my sister n laws sister told me to f off bitch and told me to get the f out of her house and told me and boys to f off!  I told them all they could go f off and gathered my things and left!     The sad part was my brother just stood there…..not saying a word and not sticking up for me.   My sister n law was in the house when all this happened.

I called my mom on the way to her house crying.  I told her everything that happened.   My parents let my brother have it!   Why did he step in…because who knew what could have happened…that guy could have punched me because who knows  how people get when they are drunk.    I blocked all the adults there on my social media accounts and from my phone including my brother.  My husband even called my brother asking him why he didn’t protect me or stand in between that guy and me and if he was there, my husband would have killed that guy because my husband is a professional mma fighter.    For someone to tell me and my kids to f off, that’s telling my whole family to f off and I will never in my life forgive someone like that.

The next day…my brother was trying to call me and couldn’t get ahold of me because I had him blocked per my mom.  So I unblocked him enough to call him back.   He wanted ME to apologize for what had happened.  I said no why should I.   I told him after that pos charging at me like that and his gf telling me and my family to f off…..I am not apologizing…….I told my brother if he wants to associate with drunk ass pos like that and let someone like and to talk like that in front of kids and have no respect……thats on him.  I also told my brother if he wants to stick up for people like that..thats on him.   He said he isn’t sticking up for them.  I told him he is and its pretty sad that he couldn’t stick up for his own flesh n blood.   He said if we all would just get to know this guy and that he is actually a pretty nice guy and thats just the way he is.   I said nope!!! Not ever!!!!!!!!     He then went on saying that his wife’s sister didn’t mean what she said.  and I told him I call bs on that and that she meant it!   I told him don’t expect me and family to ever come around ever again and if those 2 will be there , we will not.   He kept saying how its putting a strain between everyone and he even want my son to apologize for telling that guy to f off…. I said no way in hell will my son apologize and my son said he will not. I was also told to stop acting like I am better than everyone, which I don’t act like I am and I am not by any means.      My parents told me not to apologize and for my son not to apologize.  If anything, they owe us an apology!!!!!!!   My parents told my brother that they will not be at any picnics or get togethers if those 2 will be there.  If they are there, my parents will not not go.   No one in my family likes that guy and my sister n laws sister.  My aunt and uncle do not like them either because of the way they act.   Few of my friends told me not to apologize because I am the only one in the family with a back bone and will stand up for myself and my family and that I had the balls to say stuff!   And the bad thing is that my brother works with this guy!

I made amends with my brother and his wife, she had nothing to do with what had happened.   I told my brother that I will not back down nor apologize and he needs to respect that.  I also told him I have no respect for people like that, if i don’t like something i will say it .  I also said that I am sick and tired of people to tell me how to act, how to feel, what to say and what not to say and that i am tired of getting jumped on for standing my ground and standing up for myself and to stop treating me like a little kid!!!!!!     I also told my brother how no one really talks to my husband and how my husband is tired of feeling like no one likes him because he is not from this country.   I told my brother he bleeds the same way we all do!!!!!! And he is a part of the family and his brother n law!!!!!!!!!                                                                                                                                                                                                             My nephews graduation party is today and I am only going for him , my brother and his wife.   My family will be there except for my kids because they chose not to go.   From now on we will only be attending, graduation parties , birthday parties, and holiday get togethers.   I know those 2 will be there and we will just act like they don’t exist.    I know word has spread on that side and i am sure that some of their friends know.   I have a feeling i will be getting talked about and getting the stink eye the whole time we are at the graduation party.

Am I the bad one for saying what I said and saying what no one else has the nerve to say to people like that???    Should I apologize?   How does one deal with a situation like that?    I just don’t know what to do anymore.