Hi both,

No doubt I have grown a lot throughout the years. One thing I  need to remind myself: It matters what I do with the situation, not how the situation is. No doubt I have my resilience, been in even tougher situations.

I am still sharing some accounts with her (deliveroo/ netflix), i often see traces of her in those apps. I got notification that she ordered for a group of people on a Monday lunch time to our place, which is a bit unusual. This can be neutral but I started to go into the loop: Why is she not working? who are those people who went to our place etc etc

I catastrophized and thought : she must have forgotten about me and she is happy without me.

Then I remember what Anita said: I needed to think in her shoes. Her operating system is different from me. I need alone time to deal with the pain; She may need to have other people around or even ‘not think about it’ to deal with the pain. She may have really forgotten about me, or,  she is just dealing the pain. I just don’t know.

It took overnight for this to sink in. Last night, I decided to hide all her IG stories and also log out of the app, so that I won’t know what is happening to her. I was very upset as I felt the last connection(and hope may be) is lost, but I felt this is something that I needed to do.

I cried a lot last night, but this morning I told myself it’s again another day, so it’s again closer to the date when we evaluate things

thanks both