Dear Anita

Thanks for your prompt reply.

Honestly I am unsure of what is it exactly that she can’t let go. may be the house as you said.  it’s filled with memories of us and we kind of built this together. Or simply the comfort of it. I got this house partly because this is very close to my mom’s place, very close to her work place, I hoped to give her some stability as she is constantly moving every one or two years since she is just renting a place outside.

I doubt if she can tell me what she can’t let go of, and there is probably no need to figure out unless I am terribly bothered by it to a point I can’t move on.

Last night when I went home and my first sight was the sofa, and that I see images of her sitting there watching TV, which is my usual sight for the past couple of years. I cried so hard. But I felt today, I am more able to face that image again, like I have cried over the idea that she would ever sit in that sofa.

I will probably change that sofa anyways, and some of the things at home as much as possible. so that I have a fresh start.

I already booked a therapy session, to review this.

This past month I have digged out a lot of the my past issues, during my trip, I was thinking i should have something to remind myself, It happens my friend’s friend, who is a tattooist is coming to Hong kong for guest tattooing. I decided to talk to her to see if I can come up with a small pattern that helped me. The conversation was very nice and I trust that I am in good hands. I am 41 this year, and I feel nervous yet quite excited, to finally do this. It will be a small pattern on my arm. I think I have learned a lot this month.

Another thing that I thought of, is to adopt a cat/dog. I have been wanting to do this for a while, but then she doesn’t really like animals. Now that she is gone, I might proceed with e cat/ dog. I want to give these otherwise abandoned animals a proper home.

Thanks all, I know I will have ups and downs but I also know I will get better at the end.