Hi John

Well, I think that you have been in a unique situation. She didn’t express a desire to be exclusive, in fact quite the opposite for a long time. She didn’t put the time and effort in to maintain the level of contact that is required for a long distance relationship.

All of that made you feel insecure as you both constantly disregarded your needs in the relationship. Your mental health suffered and you started acting out by accusing her of cheating.

She now feels ready to commit to you apparently and rightly so it sounds like you have some doubts because this is a 360 change from how she’s been communicating difficulties in the relationship. I’d argue that your feelings haven’t disappeared out of nowhere, the relationship has systematically been damaged. Have you asked her why her feelings have changed from being disinterest in the relationship to being in love?

It sounds like she is concerned of the effect of the long distance relationship on you. Quite rightly so. If the situation wasn’t long distance it could have worked. But it doesn’t seem like either of you are suited to long distance relationships.

Something that can save you time in the future is, if someone says that they don’t want to do something, listen to them and don’t try anyway.

Let me ask you, has the communication situation changed? Is she now putting in more effort or is she still not putting in effort?

Part of the problem is that when you suffer and your needs aren’t being met you are refusing to end a relationship that isn’t working out for you. Why do you think that is?

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏