Dear Dana:

I am sorry to read that you were severely abused by your mentally-ill mother, that your adoptive parents were often harsh and critical, and that you suffered otherwise in life.

“I have done a lot of self work and development… ready to let go of my past and am now on the journey of healing. I’m also looking to see a therapist soon“- congratulations for being on the journey of healing, for doing the work, and for preparing to do more work.

“How to still feel worthy despite major rejection in your life?… How do I move on from all of the above and believe that I am deserving of healthy relationships and love? I don’t wish to have to change my personality or become a cold and bitter person“- my answer this morning: have the courage to (1) think well of yourself no matter what others may think of you, (2) to be on your side no matter some people disapproving/ rejecting you, (3) to acknowledge when you make mistakes, to correct them best you can, and then.. post-correction, the courage to think well of yourself, (4) the courage to be warm and friendly with people even when you’re afraid they’ll reject you.

There will always be disapproval, rejection, disappointments. We need to be strong, resilient and consistent.

anita