Dear Bhavana:

I am sorry that you are experiencing such emotional pain. You shared that very recently your boyfriend of 7 years broke up with you because his parents disapprove of an inter-religious marriage for him, that you don’t have any kind of job, that you are preparing for competitive exams, but you are not able to concentrate at all.

“it feels like I am failing at everything. I am failing as a daughter. I am failing as a student. I am failing as a person.“-

– Society has failed you, not the other way around. If you and your boyfriend were good to and for each other, then society (in India) which looks down at, and considers inter-faith marriages a taboo, has failed you.

His parents, if they disapproved of the marriage because they didn’t want their son, wife and future children to suffer societal disapproval and abuse, I understand their position. In any case, if they knew of the 7-years relationship and allowed it, knowing that a marriage is a No, then they failed you.

If your boyfriend  believed that he can have a good marriage with you and not suffer significant societal retribution, then he failed you when he obeyed his parents in regard to a marriage. If he knew for years that he will not marry you.. he failed you as well, just as his parents did.

From dw. com/ why interfaith marriage in India is getting dangerous (1/11/2023): “In one incident two years ago, Indian police stopped an interfaith marriage in the northern state of Uttar Pradesh despite the consent of both families. Before the ceremony could begin, a police team intervened following a complaint by a local Hindu right-wing leader… In extreme cases, families have attacked or even killed couples for falling in love or for trying to marry someone outside their religion…

“At least eight states, including six governed by the ruling Hindu nationalist Bharativa Janata party (BJP), have passed anti-conversion laws that ban religious conversion solely for the purpose of marriage… Last month, the Vishva Hindu Parishad (VHP), a hardline Hindu group, launched a nationwide public ‘awareness campaign,’ claiming that Hindu women are being caught up in ‘love jihad’…  where Muslim men lure Hindu women into marriage and conversion to Islam. Hindu groups claim, without evidence, it is an organized conspiracy”.

Back to you: you chose a Hindu screen name. I wonder if you are a Hindu woman and your (ex) boyfriend, a Muslim man. What about your parents, if I may ask: did they approve or disapprove of the marriage?

anita