Dear Joseph:

“I know it seems rather excessive… ungodly amount… I know I sound horrible, lazy, and unreliable. . I want to work, I want to succeed“- I would say that the first step to making progress/ to succeed is to no longer judge yourself as horrible, lazy and unreliable, and to no longer magnify your failures and minimize your successes. The first step is to.. be on your side, to have empathy for yourself.

“I dealt with a lot of traumatic events as a child, to which many they have not been confronted nor overcome. I dealt with drug addiction and alcoholism, abandonment, self-isolation, suicidal thoughts and one attempt, anger issues, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and so much more“- there is a traumatized, hurt boy that you carry with you everywhere you go.

“I’ve worked in security, food, manufacturing, construction, automotive, road safety, maintenance, and order fulfillment. 44 jobs. All in my 11 year working history. Jobs that most people pray for, because of the job security, benefits, and most importantly, the pay… There were times I was bringing in 4 figure paychecks every week… I do not mind back breaking labor, or long days, or even extremely difficult days“- congratulations for working so much and for so long, ever since you were 18! You are a hard-working man, a hard working husband, and a hard working father (Focus on the positives)!

“I just can’t seem to stay committed to one job… Why is this such a difficult situation for my brain to wrap itself around?… How do I fix this?… I truly fear I am broken…  Can anyone else relate?“- I can very much relate to feeling broken and to having a broken career path (more like a no-career path). I too caried a traumatized, hurt child within me (aka inner child) wherever I went, and she too could not commit herself to any workplace because each such place felt like the place where she grew up, the place where she was still trapped. She kept looking for a way out. Do you relate?

anita