Home→Forums→Share Your Truth→I’m 29 and I’ve had 40+ Jobs
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September 16, 2024 at 8:23 am #438137JosephParticipant
I know, it seems rather excessive, or even an ungodly amount. It almost sounds imaginary. Yes, I indeed have had over forty jobs. 44 to be exact. But here’s somewhat of a backstory.
I am 29 years old, I’m married to the love of my life, and we have 3 beautiful kids together. My wife has done nothing but support me, even if there were times (and believe me, there has been MANY) where she should’ve, could’ve and would’ve walked away. I dealt with a lot of traumatic events as a child, to which many they have not been confronted nor overcome. I dealt with drug addiction and alcoholism, abandonment, self-isolation, suicidal thoughts and one attempt, anger issues, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and so much more. I have not sought any kind of help or counsel. Honestly, even if I did, I couldn’t force myself to commit to it. I definitely don’t want to medicate as I’m afraid I would become far too dependent on it.
Back to the task at hand. I had gotten I security job at a big film manufacturer where I live, and I thought for sure this was the field for me as far as a career was concerned. I made an attempt to end it all, after only being there 9 months or so. I got another job shortly after, working in a factory producing baby toys. I got hit in the face with an automated sliding door, and before long I quit there as well. Actually, I quit the first day. I worked in a restaurant for 2 years, and it closed when I was 21. I worked at that point 5 jobs in total. Yes, I skipped a couple because this story would carry on for days if I listed every single one. Regardless, I’ve worked in security, food, manufacturing, construction, automotive, road safety, maintenance, and order fulfillment. 44 jobs. All in my 11 year working history. Jobs that most people pray for, because of the job security, benefits, and most importantly, the pay. There were times I was bringing in 4 figure paychecks every week, grossing nearly 10k monthly. Whether the job was 8 hours or 12, I would quit for no real reason. As soon as I become uncomfortable, or unsatisfied with my progress, I’ll quit. I’ve been at my current job for almost a week, and I’m dreading going to work in the morning. I do not mind back breaking labor, or long days, or even extremely difficult days, I just can’t seem to stay committed to one job. I can’t stand temp work because of the uncertainty (I know, how ironic) not to mention, I want a constant paycheck. But how am I to succeed if I cannot commit to one job? I worked at a box factory, with one of my mom’s lifelong friends earlier this year. He was telling me he worked there for over 30 YEARS! How? How do you find the motivation to go to such a boring job? How do you stay dedicated when you do the exact same thing for 30 years? Why is this such a difficult situation for my brain to wrap itself around? I will never talk down on someone for providing for their family, in any way shape or form. But how can I fix this?
How do I fix this? I am literally financially crippling my family with my uncertainty. I cannot be a provider if I cannot provide my family with the safety and security of “Dad will always find a way to take care of us.”
I know I sound horrible, lazy, and unreliable. I want to work, I want to succeed, I want to have a name my kids aren’t ashamed to be associated with. I want my wife to be able to tell everyone her husband is a hardworking man. I want them all to be proud of me. But I truly fear I am broken. I feel like a failure and a burden. I don’t know what to do, or how to stop this insanity in my life. Can anyone else relate? Would anyone even want to relate to such a ridiculous truth? Please, if anyone can give me some insight, I would truly be appreciative. I know I jumped all over the place, but this is a lot to unpack.
September 16, 2024 at 10:27 am #438152anitaParticipantDear Joseph:
“I know it seems rather excessive… ungodly amount… I know I sound horrible, lazy, and unreliable. . I want to work, I want to succeed“- I would say that the first step to making progress/ to succeed is to no longer judge yourself as horrible, lazy and unreliable, and to no longer magnify your failures and minimize your successes. The first step is to.. be on your side, to have empathy for yourself.
“I dealt with a lot of traumatic events as a child, to which many they have not been confronted nor overcome. I dealt with drug addiction and alcoholism, abandonment, self-isolation, suicidal thoughts and one attempt, anger issues, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and so much more“- there is a traumatized, hurt boy that you carry with you everywhere you go.
“I’ve worked in security, food, manufacturing, construction, automotive, road safety, maintenance, and order fulfillment. 44 jobs. All in my 11 year working history. Jobs that most people pray for, because of the job security, benefits, and most importantly, the pay… There were times I was bringing in 4 figure paychecks every week… I do not mind back breaking labor, or long days, or even extremely difficult days“- congratulations for working so much and for so long, ever since you were 18! You are a hard-working man, a hard working husband, and a hard working father (Focus on the positives)!
“I just can’t seem to stay committed to one job… Why is this such a difficult situation for my brain to wrap itself around?… How do I fix this?… I truly fear I am broken… Can anyone else relate?“- I can very much relate to feeling broken and to having a broken career path (more like a no-career path). I too caried a traumatized, hurt child within me (aka inner child) wherever I went, and she too could not commit herself to any workplace because each such place felt like the place where she grew up, the place where she was still trapped. She kept looking for a way out. Do you relate?
anita
September 17, 2024 at 12:47 am #438159HelcatParticipantHi Joseph
If you want to fix this I would encouraged you to try and get help. That you are here asking this question tells me that you do want help.
Even if you don’t think you can stick it out. You might have to try over and over again with different therapists like the way you handle your career.
Your concerns about medicine are understandable considering past experiences with addiction. That you managed to overcome that is a massive achievement! There are different kinds of medication, some addictive and some not. A doctor would be able to guide you in this process of selecting a non-addictive medication if you are interested. I have tried some of the addictive kinds of mental health drugs. They are not good and it is best to stay away from them. I’m now on a non-addictive antidepressant. It is pretty simple, pretty basic. But improves my mood a little. Nothing world altering, or earth shattering. I’m not numb.
I’m so sorry to hear about your difficulties with trauma and suicidal ideation.
44 jobs at 29 years old. That in itself is impressive. I can understand your concerns with wanting to stick in at a job and having difficulties with that.
You said that you stayed at a job for two years once. What was different about that?
I wonder if there could be something else going on in addition to trauma? I know someone who is neurodivergent that bounces from job to job. I’m sorry if this idea might be uncomfortable for you. I’m just trying to help. I’m neurodivergent myself and there is 100% nothing wrong with these things.
You don’t sound lazy to me. It sounds like you are determined to try over and over even while knowing you will probably end up leaving a job. I understand the difficulties it causes. But I don’t think that you are a bad person for it and you should stop blaming yourself.
I think staying for 30 years at a box factory is also pretty extreme on the other side of the range of experiences. I would die of boredom too.
After all of your experiences do you have any idea of what you like in a job, what you don’t like? What do you enjoy doing? Do you have any interests?
I once stayed at a job that made me suicidal because of an abusive workplace environment for 3 years. Just to prove to myself that I could hack it anywhere. Why did I do that? Because I didn’t have faith in myself. I valued an idea of succeeding over my own comfort and safety. I don’t recommend it and wouldn’t do it again.
There are a lot of abusive employers out there. I wouldn’t recommend that someone with a traumatic background and suicidal ideation stays in an environment like that.
The degree of discomfort is important. Every job has something that sucks. Learning how to tolerate a normal level of discomfort could be a good thing for you.
For example, how did you overcome your addiction? You literally turned away from perceived pleasurable experiences to live with your own painful feelings.
This drive you have that allowed you to overcome that, could potentially help you to overcome the career issues.
I wish you the best of luck figuring all of this out.
Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏
September 17, 2024 at 12:51 am #438160HelcatParticipantOh I have another idea if you are interested. There are herbal remedies for depression and anxiety. St John’s Wort is a very famous and well known one. If you are in a place where there that has a Traditional Chinese Medicine Doctor. They can provide herbal medicine that helps with anxiety and depression too. I take some herbal medicine in addition to the antidepressant.
October 3, 2024 at 9:19 am #438519FrancineParticipantHello Joseph,
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself through this forum. That in itself shows your courage and commitment to discovering answers. I am 61 years old and can honestly say that I have had multiple jobs over my lifetime. I started in the culinary profession and after becoming a single mother, went to school and began working in human services. Many positions I left because I wasn’t feeling fulfilled, others to be in a position where I was earning a bit more pay, and still others I left because I was working for employers that were toxic in some way. I beat myself up about my “roller coaster” career path for years. It was only after getting into the workforce development field that I began to realize that our careers do not define us and that we should begin looking at our career path as a journey, not a one-time destination. Many people in your age group do not work for the same employer for decades it is very common for people to change jobs every few years. Changing a job mindfully, because you are not happy or want to move on for better pay etc.. is different and very common. It sounds, at least through your post, that you haven’t found your niche yet and are cycling through jobs that you don’t find fulfilling. I currently don’t enjoy the job I have but I decided, that until I find a role that better suits me, I will find something each day that I enjoy about my current position. I can work from home without anyone breathing down my neck, which is a plus. I’ve learned over the years that I do best in a quiet environment without drama or being micromanaged so I look for jobs that fit that profile.
A step you may want to take is to go to your local Department of Labor or someplace like that to see if they offer career counseling. They have resources to help people figure out the type of work they want to do. Your career does not define you, so don’t let it. Do something that brings you joy and if you haven’t found that role yet, at least do something that allows you to be who you are at your best.
Best of luck to you on this journey of self-discovery.
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