Dear Helcat,

Wow, IT sounds very technical, where are you wanting it to take you after school?

The Tibetan Book of the Dead is a great read about all of this. There is also a commentary on it called The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying.

– good to know!!

Just wait until the potty training starts haha, I am currently doing this with the girl I nanny, alongside her parents. The entire house had towels and floor mats down for a week and she needed to be watched like a hawk, but so many wins along the way 🙂

That is gloomy news about your cat and dog, especially the cat prank calls that actually feels cruel. Life is just so unpredictable, the parents of the little girl I nanny are separating, so I’ve been under some rain clouds lately too. Things that are just impossible to prepare for. I appreciate your optimism though, and on the same trend I am trying to see things as growing opportunities… even gifts? I just recently read the Alchemist, have you read it? It has me currently on high awareness for omens.

I so hope you can figure things out too. You’ve shared so much good relationship advice with me and I am sure with others, so your karma could be very helpful right about now! I hope it’s a situation you can see clearly as you move through it.

t’s very romantic of him to invite you along, it does sound like you are doing the right thing focusing on your personal journey. Who knows what will happen later? I’m sure you will stay in touch and find out. 

– It was romantic 🙂 It is difficult to not want the relationship now though and I have some fear that it won’t return and I am passing something up that I will regret.

I don’t think you miss windows running on automatic. But the proactive approach perhaps creates new windows.

-The end of your message is deep and I think could lead to a lot of interesting conversations. Creating new windows is interesting, I wonder if new is necessarily better? To me it seems someone running on automatic would miss things right in front of them, miss signs of what to potentially avoid or persue, it seems like the harder route to take, sort of like ignorance is bliss. I think of automatic as being on auto pilot, not feeling your feelings and missing out on connections, is this what you mean?

There is no sense avoiding good experiences to prevent bad things from happening. That is a way to miss out on life and suffer. 

This makes me loop back to being afraid that I am passing up an opportunity with K that won’t come around again. Cause a reason I don’t want to align my life with his yet, is that I don’t want to miss out on individual growth. I don’t want to get stuck in a gaslighting loop like I did with N, giving a dying relationship all of my energy.  I am currently pondering the question of whether I can grow individually with him now or not, If he would make me stronger or weaker… One of my solutions to that has been to just not make any big decisions and individually, just keep moving forward until there’s some clearer sign, but missing an opportunity is a fear I have.

Seaturtle