Dear Cutie J

Before you traveled to see your GF you knew in your heart of hearts that she wanted out of the relationship long distance or not.

Of course we only have a snapshot of the relationship to base our comments on.  As she is not writing here, there has to be some supposition going on about her motives & feeling.  Her previous relationship was an emotional minefield for her due to her partners suicidal tendencies.  Your issues put her into yet another minefield, she must have breathed a huge sigh of relief when you moved to another city. Of course it is possible that there is some kind of co-dependancy going on as well.

Your violent out burst in her home ( which should be her safe space) had her locking herself in a closet and brandishing a pair of scissors for protection. Afterwards she just tried to keep herself safe by trying to keep things both on an even keel  and also grabbed the opportunity to be out of your presence by going to play tennis until you left.

Moving forward it is in your power to seek professional help to heal the damage that was caused from your childhood onwards & not pursue another relationship until things are well on the way to have been successfully resolved thus reducing the chances of a co-dependency arising.

Roberta