Hi Anita and to all that offered their advice. I am not sure how to reply to each and every one of you. We did end up going to Easter Dinner at my brother’s house. Everyone was there except my 2 grown boys. One had to work and the other chose not to go. We arrived and “Amy and her bf” were seated on the sofa with their back towards us as we walked up the stairs to the living room. Neither one bothered to turn around and say a friendly HI. We said Hi to everyone and not one word from those 2. During dinner, hardly anyone spoke except for my brother and his wife, their kids and my brother’s wife’s mom. My mom had her puppy with her, so that should have been an ice breaker, but it wasn’t. To answer Alessa’s question, yes it was safe there. My brother had spoken to Amy’s bf telling him not to drink and keep things cool. The food was good and over all we had a nice time. Before we left, Amy and her bf were outside and We ended up leaving and taking my mom and her puppy home. She was not happy but happy to have left.

Fast forward to today. The drama just continues. My sister n law found out last week that she has breast cancer . I am offering as much support as I can for her and my brother. So today, I was talking to my mom on the phone. I was asking what she wanted to do for mother’s day and she told me that my brother, and his wife are taking my mom and his wife’s mom to dinner next Saturday. I asked why was I not asked and I was gonna ask him what he wanted to do for mom and then my mom told me about the dinner plans. I got upset, angry and hurt that he did not bother to contact me. Thats how it is in my family sometimes, no one bothers to ask me or call me about stuff like that. I blew up! And my parents never want to hear what i have to say. MY dad never wants to hear it. Everytime I voice a concern or tell how I feel, my feelings get swept under the rug and I get blamed for having feelings and being opinionated. My dad called my brother , next thing I knew my dad hung up on me. My mom tried to explain that my brother and his wife wanted to take my mom and his wife’s mom to dinner only and then we will do something on mothers day. I said well I felt it was rude and thoughtless not to invite me and my husband too. Then all hell broke loose. Accusing me of how i felt. Blaming me for everything…I was so upset…I fell to the floor and just cried so hard, as I am still crying as I write all this.
My sister n law wanted to get together with her sister and me to talk about what happened last summer because she needs us both now since she has breast cancer. She wants us to reconcile not only with her having cancer, but to do things again like we all used to. I said ok..I am willing to meet with you and Amy this Friday to talk things out. At first her sister did not want to and I heard all this fighting and arguing, then she called me back saying Amy will meet and talk. My brother still tried to blame me for everything that happened. Then she was screaming and arguing about everything while i was on the phone with my brother. I told him, if one of the kids there would not have told on me and listened in on my conversation none of this would have happened so it was just not me that started it either. My sister n law said its so hard to have everyone together because no one gets along. I told her have you guys even thought about talking to them and asking why they ignored everyone before last summers incident?
They said they tried but didn’t want to listen. All I have to say is that Amy better apologize to me also. How do I go about calmly apologizing also without sounding harsh and defensive? Right now I am so mad for the lack of support my family has towards me.. I am just tired. I am tired of the drama, the blame game, lack of family support, and how everyone thinks I am at fault for everything that happens, even if I wasn’t there. I am willing to reconcile for the sake of my sister n law only because she has cancer and needs our support which I totally understand and I will be there for her during this bad journey.

I am sorry if it sounded as if I was talking in circles, but it is all very upsetting, hurt and stressful. I just don’t know how to handle this at all.