This is just my personal opinion, but I think that most obsessive things that we do are a form of self-protection. Not very efficient in what they’re supposed to do, but there’s some kind of logic behind it.

I’m a rather controlling personality. It might not be obvious, as I’m also laid-back, but my brain is constantly doing some kind of calculations and I’m very aware of my surroundings and the subtleties in it. It is very annoying, so I do try to actively let go…occasionally. Not constantly, but now and again. In a safe place, when I’m alone, I imagine letting go of everything. Accepting that the world will continue to function without my awareness of what is happening in it. I can turn my back on everything for a moment and trust that everything will not fall apart. It is very liberating and very thrilling. I feel very light and like I’m standing on a hill, with wind blowing from every direction, and I accept it all. I don’t have to control the currents and the winds; nothing bad will happen.

I know that I would have to do a lot of letting go in order to change the way my brain works, but for now, it’s enough for me that I can acknowledge when it’s starting to become too stressful and I can then find the release I need from the grips of the controlling brain.