Leia,

I am sorry for all of your suffering.

Premature deaths are never easy to deal with. They take much faith and meaning from us and create an emptiness within that is difficult to fill. It can take (much) time, spiritual journeying, vast search for understanding and/or prolonged soul searching to simply acquire ‘that little bit’ that will help us hang/move on.

And yet, this void is created with the exact purpose of being filled with the strength, love and will of our departed loved ones. It is ‘in’ them that we must seek answers to once again find the resolution to not only live but thrive. Neglecting to do so only results in instilling further destruction upon ourselves. But, by recalling that even in death they wish for our continued happiness gives us the constitution to continue living with meaning.

Also, do not be sad when you experience bouts of sadness and longing. This simply means that she held a lot of meaning to you. Don’t you believe it would actually be worse if you felt no longing for her at all? 😉 Hence, you are healthy. Missing a loved one is correct, not missing a loved one is incorrect. You are doing it exactly right.

As for loneliness and relationships, both can only be remedied by your own efforts. Recognizing that everyone is like you, that we all suffer in one form or another, will help you feel closer. However, even understanding such will not help you in developing relation/friendships with others. Action is necessary. You’ll also find that approaching individuals with positive heartfelt intentions and open-mindedness will make it easier.

Your Friend,

Al