April 15, 2014 at 9:03 am #54806LeiaParticipant
My mother passed away suddenly in 2006 from a brain aneurysm, when I was in 6th grade. I thought I had coped with it well until now… I’m 19 and have never had a real relationship. I feel so alone when i’m surrounded by people but I’m not sure how to change that. I’ve been in a rut lately, I have feelings of depression but i’m so out of touch with my emotions that i’m really not sure. Anyone have any advice?April 15, 2014 at 7:30 pm #54825AlParticipant
I am sorry for all of your suffering.
Premature deaths are never easy to deal with. They take much faith and meaning from us and create an emptiness within that is difficult to fill. It can take (much) time, spiritual journeying, vast search for understanding and/or prolonged soul searching to simply acquire ‘that little bit’ that will help us hang/move on.
And yet, this void is created with the exact purpose of being filled with the strength, love and will of our departed loved ones. It is ‘in’ them that we must seek answers to once again find the resolution to not only live but thrive. Neglecting to do so only results in instilling further destruction upon ourselves. But, by recalling that even in death they wish for our continued happiness gives us the constitution to continue living with meaning.
Also, do not be sad when you experience bouts of sadness and longing. This simply means that she held a lot of meaning to you. Don’t you believe it would actually be worse if you felt no longing for her at all? 😉 Hence, you are healthy. Missing a loved one is correct, not missing a loved one is incorrect. You are doing it exactly right.
As for loneliness and relationships, both can only be remedied by your own efforts. Recognizing that everyone is like you, that we all suffer in one form or another, will help you feel closer. However, even understanding such will not help you in developing relation/friendships with others. Action is necessary. You’ll also find that approaching individuals with positive heartfelt intentions and open-mindedness will make it easier.
AlApril 16, 2014 at 1:23 pm #54889LeiaParticipant
Wow, thank you so much. This helps me to put things into perspective, thank you for caring!April 17, 2014 at 10:38 am #54964ShipraParticipant
I hope you are doing good.
Emotional void creates a gap in us. I can understand because I can feel it. This void needs a lot of support, love, care and patience to fill. Now it requires also courage to let it go of our internal sorrow and boundaries and let come compassion, love and support to fill it.
From the state of shattered to state of collectiveness requires cohesiveness and bonding with inner self to be strengthen and and to find out more love in our environment. This peace will be filled in this gap with time when you will find that your loved ones are there but acceptance of them in your life, will make your life happier and easier. 🙂
So keep smiling. May be God has some big plan for you and you will get more love in your life.
Loads of love.
ShipraApril 21, 2014 at 6:17 am #55090ButterflyParticipant
I lost my dad I was 13, my special and best friend Sara 2 years later, and later on my baby… you know what? it was only a loss for the length of time I though it was a lost. I thought it was… But is it not in the real sense… in the heart the truth is in this poem I read every time i feel down…
I am a butterfly
I am the stars in the sky… I can not die…
Watch me, now I am free… look and see…
Hey mum, I am the air that you breathe, I’m the
birds in the trees, I’m the flowers and the seeds
Look mum, I’m deep in your heart, we’re never
apart… I’m all around
Look mum, I’m a butterfly, I’m the stars in the sky…
Because someone you love is in heaven, you have a little bit of heaven in your heart!! Fell it, believe it… and let the door of opportunities open up for you. Life presents is to you but you just need to want to… Blessings to you 😉April 23, 2014 at 12:57 am #55231S BParticipant
I am sorry for your loss. Whether you believe in reincarnation or predestination, always be aware that your mother will be with you throughout your life. If you are sentimental like me, visit her grave or visit with family in order to pay your respects and release whatever is caught inside of you. As others have said, keep in mind that this suffering is only temporary so that you can use the tough lessons from life to grow and become the best person you can be.
I’m sure once you’re released and in tune with your emotions, people will come to you. If you feel like even meditation or simple changes aren’t lifting your mood, look into wearing a gemstone called “Moss Agate”. It is very powerful and will help to keep your emotions aligned in a way that you can think more clearly.
good luck, you are loved.