I’m sorry to hear how much you’re struggling. It hits home quite hard because I can hear my own voice in much of what you are saying.

For a long time I struggled with knowing that I needed help, I needed to change things and I couldn’t continue on the same path. Unfortunately just knowing that you ‘should’ be doing something doesn’t really change much even though admitting the problem is a massive step.

I tended to blame others for my lack of action. I asked them for help (my parents, siblings, friends, doctors etc) so I thought my job was done, but no one seemed to understand or care all that much. Effectively I handing my power over to other people and it seems like you are doing the same.

No one on this planet can ever help you, heal you or change you in the same way that you can yourself. Even having all of the resources in the world won’t make you any better if ~you~ don’t find and use them.

When I was stuck in this rut nothing improved until I started to change my thinking and taking my power back. First things first, you have to reframe. If you replace every time you used ‘can’t’ with ‘can’ you get a very different approach to your situation…

“I can deal with it. I can do it on my own”

It will probably sound stupid and wrong at first but this is the first step at taking back your power. Just say it over and over and over everyday until you begin to believe it. You have to be your own biggest advocate and you have to take care of yourself. It’s so great when the actions of others align with our desires but that isn’t always going to be the case. Everyone is just doing the best they can at the time and that includes you.

Take a few deep breaths, try to reframe and own your situation. You absolutely can do it. Try to take a step or two in a positive direction and your family and friends may begin to follow.

Best wishes
R