I just can't do it, it's too much and nobody cares

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    Recently, everything in my life has begun to just pile on top of me. Everyday I find more and more added stresses and I’m not sure how to deal with them. I can’t deal with them. I’ve asked my family for help but they don’t ever understand and they only ever get angry or give me crappy answers that I already know wont solve anything. I’m afraid to face the problems, but I know that if I keep avoiding them they’re not going to go away. I can’t do it on my own, at least not continuing in this way. My family doesn’t want to help though, and I’m not sure that my friends would be able to help. I have options, I know they’re there, I know they could help, but nobody wants to help me get there. I just cant do it. I can’t, I feel like I’m running out of time.


    Hi Talia

    What a beautiful wisdom you hold within your being. “No one cares”. In the true essence of this adult life, that is so right and will be until the last second of this human existence.

    We can only care about ourself. No one else can be our best friend or well wisher except for self. Perhaps, the difficult experiences have been put into your life to learn this quickly and emerge stronger and better.

    When you start caring for self and loving yourself, every thing around you will change and then suddenly everyone will start caring and loving you as well. But hey, then it wont matter because you would have found who “talia” is and what she is capable of. You will be able to share your light with others then and become an instrument for the Universe to share its love with the rest of the earthlings.

    Lots of blessings to you. You will be fine 🙂



    Dear Talia,

    No one can help you unless you want to help yourself. Life is hard and has so many lessons in store for us. There will be periods of great uncertainty, stress and overwhelming emotions. You will feel hopeless and sometimes get angrier thinking “why isnt anyone listening or helping me?”

    I had a time like that when i began getting depressed. That time, my friends and family just werent there for me. My life was a mess and i had no idea what to do. I had no strength left to even make any effort. I began feeling dread, anger and finally, numbness. Then came this big whack someday. I realized the black cloud and uncertainty in life wouldn’t be magically lifted by worrying, dis-empowering myself and constantly looking at others for support. In the end, despite their good intentions and advice, i had to take the hard way on my own.

    Your mind is already convincing you that you cant do it but how do you know that till you face things??

    “I’m afraid to face the problems, but I know that if I keep avoiding them they’re not going to go away….I have options, I know they’re there, I know they could help, but nobody wants to help me get there. I just cant do it. I can’t,” – see what you have written..You feel like “you” just cant and someone must pick you up.

    You can choose to keep staying in this state of mind or you can pick up your guns and face your problems. Who said life was all fun and roses? It isnt and no one can live our life for us. Be brave. People can tell you what to do but in the end, only you can decide on doing what must be done.

    Good luck!

    – Jess


    Sometimes it’s OK to give up on one thing, to take care of another. I once flunked a course in university by not studying or turning up for the exam, so I could do well on the other courses I was taking. I don’t know about the nature of your stresses, but maybe you can just drop something, and see who picks it up. I once walked away from everything that was going on in my life just to be alone for 5 weeks. People worried for me, were disappointed in me, but I got back to me and everything turned out fine in the end.

    You’re not running out of time. There will always be time. Until you die, but that’s when you can stop worrying about anything at all, so don’t worry about that, either. I think the people in your life do care, but they may not be sure how to help you.

    Be clear about what you need. Focus on what’s important. And know that it won’t always feel like this.


    I’ve learned a long time ago that most people only care things that directly affect them. Stay true to yourself and always do what’s best for you.




    Please learn to accept that these stresses, issues, problems are a constant in our lives. They exist in order to teach us our lessons so that once learned, we may develop into even more beautiful beings. Also, learning to handle our attitudes towards these stresses may actually diminish them. We must also take care in making sure that issues are truly issues and not things that we conjured up because of our prejudices. For example, and this is but a small example, my sister washed the dishes but did not do a satisfactory job. While this may be absolutely true, it is possible that perhaps only I believe this. In her mind, it is possible that she believes she did a good job. Therefore, we must take great care in considering our issues.

    Also, as you’ve stated, if some of these have options, hence answers, then it is important to perform their solutions. We will gain nothing but added stress if we do not perform what needs to be performed in order to eradicate chaos. However, performing these deeds will have gained us significant knowledge to help us deal with future similar problems and the tools to obtain harmony. Always do what you believe you can do by yourself. When you’ve done so and find that the rest will require the aid of another/others, please recall that ‘how’ you ask for help greatly matters. For example, instead of ranting off about how much you have to accomplish, remember that a simple ‘please’ will go a long way along with an ‘ahead Thank You’ added at the end of your sentence. You will find that asking kindly and politely has not diminished despite the environment you’re in.

    You’ll Make It,



    I’m sorry to hear how much you’re struggling. It hits home quite hard because I can hear my own voice in much of what you are saying.

    For a long time I struggled with knowing that I needed help, I needed to change things and I couldn’t continue on the same path. Unfortunately just knowing that you ‘should’ be doing something doesn’t really change much even though admitting the problem is a massive step.

    I tended to blame others for my lack of action. I asked them for help (my parents, siblings, friends, doctors etc) so I thought my job was done, but no one seemed to understand or care all that much. Effectively I handing my power over to other people and it seems like you are doing the same.

    No one on this planet can ever help you, heal you or change you in the same way that you can yourself. Even having all of the resources in the world won’t make you any better if ~you~ don’t find and use them.

    When I was stuck in this rut nothing improved until I started to change my thinking and taking my power back. First things first, you have to reframe. If you replace every time you used ‘can’t’ with ‘can’ you get a very different approach to your situation…

    “I can deal with it. I can do it on my own”

    It will probably sound stupid and wrong at first but this is the first step at taking back your power. Just say it over and over and over everyday until you begin to believe it. You have to be your own biggest advocate and you have to take care of yourself. It’s so great when the actions of others align with our desires but that isn’t always going to be the case. Everyone is just doing the best they can at the time and that includes you.

    Take a few deep breaths, try to reframe and own your situation. You absolutely can do it. Try to take a step or two in a positive direction and your family and friends may begin to follow.

    Best wishes


    I very much can sympathize with how you are feeling. Now I know that everyone here is telling you that this is something you have to do for yourself and no one can do it for you. And they are right. No one can walk your path for you, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t walk next to someone, next to a guide. It’s like being on a dark path and you lost your flashlight, and then someone suddenly comes along with a flashlight that illuminates the path. Sometimes, the reason family and friends can’t help you or give good advice is because they have a certain image of you and how you should be handling something or how you should be doing something. Sometimes the people who help us most are the people we are not close with. What I am trying to get at, is that perhaps a support group would be just the thing for you. You would be surrounded by people going through the same thing, and there is often a measure of comfort in being able to share with people who know nothing about your past or who your family thinks you are or ought to be. In a support group, you could share and get ideas from others about how to move forward in your life and you would know you are not alone. Now of course, ultimately, no one can walk your path for you, but they can indeed offer support and guidance. You are not alone! There are many of us out there just like you. Find a group, and that might be just the right first step to take.

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 1 month ago by Sarada.
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