Wow, thanks @kelly and @michaelsmith for your wise words. I really needed them after this weekend. I had drafted a text message to send to him and I debated it ALL weekend, while crying, and in the end decided not to send it. I thought of all the times I’d initiated contact with him when we were together, and then about how it ended. I know he’s very depressed so I am worried about him but I realised that if he cared enough about me he’d contact me. And of course he hasn’t, which still hurts a lot. But thank you for affirming that its OK for me still to feel sad. Kelly I’m sorry that you were told your feelings were wrong. That is just simply awful. I’m glad you feel stronger now and while it hurts I’m sure this will be better for you in the long run. Because you will be validated and be able to express yourself, more fully, in the future. There is growth ahead!

While I know I deserve more, it still hurts a lot to think that NOTHING is preventing this except bad timing and someone being in the wrong head space. I am so sad to be alone, again. At least he lives in another city so I won’t bump into him. But I kind of wish that would happen so he’d realise his mistake…..AND the cycle begins again….argh