Thanks everyone.

Hi Dez

I have not had a chance to read replies from Matt or TheRuminant. Both are extremely experienced so I am sure whatever they have said is probably correct. I hope not to double up the information here.

I will share my perspective here, which comes from a positive and secure soul. I have worked on myself over the years and have come to this stage where I feel quite capable of dealing with whatever life may throw in front of me. I have realised that nothing is impossible or beyond repair.

What we need is love, open mind, patience and open communication in a relationship. Do you have all of these ?

If it was my husband who was doing such a thing, I would openly tell him of my concerns and need for honesty and trust in our marriage. Hey, every marriage goes through difficult times but it is during these times, when we learn the most about ourselves and the other person. When things are hunky dory, we get into a comfortable zone and start taking things for granted. So swallow all your insecurities, apprehensions, fear and assumptions and go and talk to him openly in a quiet place without distractions.

Tell him that you are not trying to change him or impose anything on him but you would like to know if there is something more that you guys can do to rekindle such a connection between the two of you. Listen to his concerns with an open mind ie, listening without any interruptions or pre-conceived ideas. Sometimes, we women get too insecure and our mind goes on a random chase looking for clues to prove our intuitions that yes yes yes yes he is cheating. Hey, when do people cheat if you truly ask yourself ? When our needs are not met in some form or other or when we do not have control over our urges. Which category does hubby belong to ? Either way, there is a solution so there is nothing to fret about.

Everyone wants love and deep connections at the end of the day. We just have different ways of getting to it !! My husband knows that I will never bind him or impose anything on him nor do I have any interest in changing him. I have accepted him the way he is and he has accepted me the way I am. When we have issues, we talk it out. Sometimes, we solve it quickly and at other times, it takes a lot of negotiations and compassion haha. We try not to let our ego get into the indifferences. When 2 people stay under the same roof, they are bound to clash.

Relationships that are based on honesty, trust, respect and openness do much better than those where there is too much insecurities and binding. My husband knows that he is free to walk away any day he feels that he has found a deeper connection with someone else as he knows that I only want his happiness at the end of the day. This is what unconditional love is, isint ?

Have I inspired you enough to go and have a heart to heart with hubby without any preconceived ideas or intuitions ? Relationships need nurturing and freedom. But they also need clarity and boundaries so that such insecurities do not create a rift in the contract.

Sending you heaps of positive energy. Go and give unconditional love to your hubby. Either way, it will work out just fine for your highest good and for his. You both are worth it.

Jasmine