Hi Annie

I am so sorry for your loss.

You are so brave and thank you so much for sharing your story here. It takes a lot of courage to be able to put such feelings on paper. Hats off to you 🙂

Grieving is an important process that each human gets to go through in some form or another. Every one behaves in a different way when it comes to expressing grief and the response is usually dependent on our conditioning – genetic, social, environmental, emotional etc. So whatever you are feeling is probably normal. There is nothing wrong with you and how you are coping with such a loss.

I have not been through what you have been but I can sympathise with your feelings as I deal with such emotions on a fairly regular basis. Many people with such events describe their emotional journey as that of riding a roller-coaster. But hey, one thing is certain, which should help to cut short your grieving process – life on earth is impermanent and people who come into our lives will leave us one day, which is out of our control. It can feel quite unjust and anger is often part of this process. How dare someone take our loved ones away from us in such a manner ? I don’t have an answer to this question but I do know one thing…..

Your fiancées spirit is somewhere around you and wants you to move on and enjoy life. Take the happy memories and venture into your life with love and peace and a strong belief that such events wont repeat again 🙂 Let go of all the resentment, anger, fear and guilt. You couldn’t have done more than what you did for him. He has moved on and you should move on too.

Loads of positive energy coming your way and may you find love and happiness again. May you also get the strength to accept the love when it enters your life soonish. It is a good idea to get professional help as it will expedite your healing journey.

Jasmine