I was looking up items on being judgmental and somehow came across this posting. I specifically registered so I can reply to this. And maybe I’m replying to this more because I want to hear it from myself too.

You are human. We have brains that are based off animal instincts. You will get jealous. You will be sad. You will feel a sense of loss when a relationship ends and you feel like the other person has moved on.

You don’t have to judge yourself on a time frame of how long you “think” it “should” take for someone to get over something. You are understandably feeling a sense of loss with this new situation. Many people would feel that way. Even if they don’t, you do. So let yourself feel sad. What you will push away will only come back stronger. Ironically, if you let yourself feel it and accept your feelings as they are, you don’t get that secondary “feeling bad about feeling bad” which can sometimes make you feel better. Even if it doesn’t feel better, it’s ok. All feelings and thoughts will change because they are only feelings and thoughts. Everything changes. Even thoughts and feelings.

Should you want to not be caught up in your head, find some grounding things to get out of your head- meditation, yoga, whatever. But continuing to argue with yourself about why you shouldn’t feel a certain way will understandably only keep you in your head thinking things over and over to make yourself stop.
“Don’t think of pink elephants. Why are you thinking of pink elephants? I told you not to think of pink elephants. There you go again, thinking of pink elephants. You are defective because you can’t stop yourself from thinking something like pink elephants.” The same thing happens with any other subject. When you try hard to not think of something, you are bringing that thing to your attention. Know your thoughts don’t matter and you are ok being a human who is understandably in pain for having lost something.

Also, “age doesn’t matter” only to people who don’t have goals that have a human biological time frame. If you do, understandably, it will matter.

On facebook, people will almost always present the positive things in their life. No one posts pictures of the arguments they had or the way the other person checked out every other person in the bar they were in. You don’t have to judge your insides to other people’s outsides. Plus, the beginning of any relationship is always wonderful when people don’t know that much about the parts that make them real people with real problems. The same problems you saw will always be there for the other person. The only difference is how much it doesn’t matter to the new person.

Synopsis: You’re ok. You’re understandably human and sad. It’s ok to be sad and you may think about it over and over, but in the end, it doesn’t matter. They’re just thoughts. And as long as they don’t dictate your behaviors, you are doing just fine. Have a good sleep.

3 Reasons to Stop Worrying About Your Negative Thoughts