Hi Tia,

I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling that way. I’ve had a similar relationship with meds, but if they help you it may be wise to start taking them again. Have you sat down and thought about what it is that you want? I know it is hard, but it may also help to practice some self compassion. I was recommended the metta meditation which I found quite useful; it’s available on YouTube.
Just remember that the way you’re feeling right now doesn’t have to define you.

Best wishes