Hi Tia,

I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling that way. I’ve had a similar relationship with meds, but if they help you it may be wise to start taking them again. Have you sat down and thought about what it is that you want? I know it is hard, but it may also help to practice some self compassion. I was recommended the metta meditation which I found quite useful; it’s available on YouTube.
Just remember that the way you’re feeling right now doesn’t have to define you.

Best wishes

Dear Tia,
I acquainted myself with depression a while ago. Most people do not understand it. They tend to think it’s just an excuse or something that necessarily requires medication. It is neither. Yes, it is a serious condition but medication is not the answer.It may help and it may not. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eBUcBfkVCo he uses simple language and it is easy to understand, nothing you don’t already know I suppose. The way I think about depression may seem a bit off. Depression is a prejudice just like so many other things. It’s like putting dark grey glasses on – everything seems grey, neutral, without a purpose. I think you should spend time alone with yourself. Though you should not beat yourself up but rather listen to yourself. Let go of every emotion. Let go of every thought. Silence the brain, silence the heart and the soul will speak(some call it intuition). Before you know it, you will find a door open… a door you never knew existed. I found that door only recently. I’m one of those guys who like to be positive and happy all the time. I had neglected pain before but I did not have the opportunity to do it again. With nothing else left to do I embraced it. Yes I embraced the pain. But then I found something deep inside, something only recently created. It was a path that led me deeper in myself. I understood things that I had disregarded before. I had been biast all this time. My story goes on but I don’t want to tire you with my life. Go and live your life the way you want to. :]