Thank you all so much for taking the time to post. I am very grateful.

I have certainly taken some advice and food for thought from each one.

Last night (I am posting from the UK which may contradict some of what times it says I am posting)
I listened to the Metta meditation suggested and it was a very positive experience. Meditation has certainly been one of the many habits I wish to encompass into my life. And I will certainly listen to it again as well as the others suggested.

I think to say it is focus is correct, I do find I seem to be able to achieve things when 100% of my focus is given to something, sadly when I need to balance so many other things it can be hard to give that level of focus, over a longer period of time, when “life” gets in the way

My intentions at the moment are to try and break one small habit at a time using post it notes, apparently it takes 21 days to break a habit so I have 21 post it notes ready and I will start with getting to sleep at a good time and getting up on time so I can have breakfast. Hopefully after 21 days of mindfully doing this it will become habit and I can choose another habit to focus on.

With regards the love, I know I don’t need a partner to make me happy as I have managed my life for at least 5 years without one, and I am usually happy. But I never stop wanting one and I find it is the main fuel for days when I feel low and lonely. But I do need to love myself first and these are why all the habits I want to break come into it, I cannot accept myself being overweight so I need to change it. It is a fine balance I find between contentment and ambition but I am working on it

Namaste, and thank you again. I hope you all have a wonderful day.

Sarah