Hi Jara,

I don’t know how you were trying to make him earn your respect?

But I do know the feeling of trying to earn people’s respect and love.

It is, quite simply, the worst feeling in the world.

There’s an exercise called The Emotion Wheel. Draw a clock. One o’ clock is the horrible feeling right now. Write down “Desperate”. At twelve o’ clock is the feeling you want. “Blissed Out”.

OK, at two o’ clock you want to feel a little bit better than “Desperate”. Write down “Sad”. Sit with that “Sad” feeling until you feel that rather than the other feeling.

You can write phrases down too. By the time you get to nine o’ clock the feelings might be Acceptance, Gratitude. Or a phrase might be, “I am exactly where I need to be now”. Any idea, phrase or word that makes you feel a little bit better than the “hour” before.

Try to get all the way around the clock.

Good luck!

• This reply was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by Inky.