Hi Corrine
Having been in your partners shoes, on the receiving end of spiteful things said by my partner (ex) I can try and give you some insight to how it feels. Despite knowing that things said in anger are often not thought out,especially if alcohol is involved, it is virtually impossible to wipe from your memory hurtful things said by the one you love and trust. Those words replay in your head and taint even good times. I don’t know if this was a one off for you and out of character. If so it has probably knocked your boyfriend for six and as well as hurt he is probably shell shocked. I know that on the first (or at least first couple) of times it happened to me I would have liked more than anything a big “gesture” from my partner. A really sincere apology and lots of affirmation to counteract the negative. He needs to know that you recognise the hurt you have caused him and that you will take responsibility for healing the wound. If it’s not a one off and saying hurtful things is your default mode in an argument then your boyfriend may be too weary of it and you need to look at yourself to figure out why you say things you don’t mean with the sole purpose of being hurtful. Learn how to argue not attack.
I hope you don’t feel I am being critical of you but you seem to be asking how to make this right with your boyfriend and I think to do that you need to put yourself in his shoes. He may need some space but he will be feeling hurt & confused. A letter of sincere apology explaining how upset you are with your behaviour and letting him know all the things you value about him might be a good start. Letters are non threatening not invasive and show the recipient you have made an effort.
Your boyfriend said he just wants to work it out, which resonates with me completely. He is reaching out to you & giving you the chance to put it right. Take it and heal the wound with sincerity honesty & love.
I wish you all the best
Sue