even thought you get along well, the dragging down is a telling sign. I have been in a similar situation recently with a man who I get along with so brilliantly well, but due to his still being caught up in hurt, guilt and damage from his marriage which ended 10 years ago, we couldn’t continue our relationship without it dragging us both down. After half-splitting up four times, then once completely for three weeks, we are still close friends, but have both had to accept that we cannot currently be in a relationship. It has been very hard, but a major catalyst for further self development and while I cannot be his therapist, I can be supportive and hope that one day he will find his path to peace.
I’m sure you’re aware that as your friend is not responsible for your happiness, neither are you for hers. Easier said than practiced, but at the moment it sounds like you are being paralysed by guilt or empathy. You’re not being unreasonable at all. If you attend to it with openness and honesty, pain will be probably be inevitable but facing the reality of the situation will also free you and help relieve some of the burden.

d