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It sounds like you genuinely like him as a person ~ can you ~ for now ~ live as roommates so your DD has a stable(ish) home?
Get back to work ~ it will be a good distraction.
Think of the recommitment ceremony as one big dinner for the guests. Or, don’t go through with the Recommitment Part at all. You aren’t the first bride to ditch the wedding at the last minute and you won’t be the last. And you are, technically married, so..
He is so good at living parallel lives. I know how heartbreaking it is. I had some of this myself in college. (Now he is, of course, “straight”, but I wonder if his GF knows about his old GFs AND BFs!!! I’m not saying anything….) I do not doubt there is fondness and deep affection. But, he was using you for a Normal Life.
The Family Part isn’t a lie. At least he gave you a wonderful child!!
Hold onto the Good.