@Kelly – Thank you for your insight. I think much of my “inner turmoil” is more related to a lack of self-love and acceptance I have for myself. Being that the outcome was not “predicted” or considered, it wasn’t in the cards for any of the images I attached to in my head, and if anything, I think I subconsciously use the experience to back up the “you’re not good enough” self-talk i’m guilty of. I did indeed ask where they had received my number from, but they indicated it was a “friend” of theirs and did not want to share. Being that they had given me contradictory information before, and I was in “fight or flight” mode at the time. I chose not to engage further. I suspect that they could have indeed received it from someone, somewhere, or even that it could have been some “joke”. I agree with the valuable lesson, and appreciate blunt, but refreshing, tough love!

@Ruminant – Perspective is huge. Particularly when we can’t get out of our own heads! I know I try to create scenarios in my head, and as you say “hope for the best” with “wishful thinking”. Even times I think we find ourselves saying to our ourself, that we’re too smart for something to happen to us, and in which case end up fooling ourselves haha. What I really responded to was your friend who embraced the “shame” and confronted it head on. Essentially leaving nothing to fear, we’re all humans, we all want to be loved, and we all make mistakes. It’s just at times, perfectionists like you or I, who try to torment ourselves over it haha, but i’m sincerely glad you can relate on some level!

@Natasha – I think you’re really hitting the nail on the head, with the ego. My negative self-talk can get to an exhausting point with the lies, and I know highly contributes to the “holier than thou” complex. If I should perhaps err in the slightest, it rears it’s ugly head and says “see you’re not good enough”. I know I’ve struggled with external validation as well, so your “what others think is none of my business” quote is a very good one. And when you do sit down, look around, at everyone and everything. You do realize we’re all more or less in this together. Peace and love will accomplish a lot more than fear and hate. Thank you very much for your insight, and i’m glad I was able to contribute to you on your journey as well 🙂