Hi Trevor

Hello again.

Hey, most of us have had dysfunctional families at some stage. I have the best set of parents but I didn’t start appreciating them until quite late in my life. I didn’t like discipline or being told what to do from a young age. I was an extraordinarily stubborn child. So I held onto a lot of resentment for my parents for a long time even after I became financially independent.

With independence at all levels comes a realisation that you are capable of anything and you can lead your life the way you want to. And I did that but with anger and lots of WHY ME, etc. When someone told me that my parents were not at fault, I would get even more angry but this anger wasn’t hurting anyone except for myself.

Later, thanks to a random spiritual teacher, I found out that I was 100 % responsible for my miseries, stubbornness and sorrows and if I wanted to have a better life, I needed to let go of this anger. Parents do the best for their kids in most circumstances but unfortunately, kids do not come with a parenting manual. It is a trial and error process. I also learnt that everyone is trying to do the best in their capacity and no one is wrong at any time in their eyes. It is just a matter of perspective. Every coin has 2 sides, yeah.

If you want a happy existence and move forward in life, you can either let your parents know your true feelings and deal with what comes out (can be either good or bad) or you can forgive them as they didn’t really know any better and probably still don’t know any better. Everyone is imperfect as a human on this planet and everyone makes mistakes. Is it our role to make them into better parents ? I am not sure. It all depends.

Acceptance of one self and others is crucial for spiritual evolvement so I chose to spoke with my parents and made them aware of my anger when I was away from them (in my own home and not dependent on them). They dealt with it very well and over the course of few years, our relationship improved amazingly well and now I hold so much unconditional love for them. They have accepted me for whom I am and I have done the same. We have both evolved 🙂

At the end of the day, everyone is on their own journey. We come alone and we go alone. We meet certain people on the way, become acquainted with some and some become very entwined with our lives but MY life is MY life. If you are not happy with your life, there is no way you can make anyone else happy. We cant give out what we don’t have. By working on self, you will be able to move forward in life and forgiveness will come easy then. People who try to change others keep going around in circles of sorrows but those who do not waste their energies in trying to change others find an immense calmness and peace in their lives.

If you need to speak with someone physically then I suggest that you find a good clinical psychologist or an accredited hypnotherapist. It is always good to tap into professional resources rather than try and do it yourself if the anger is too deep and hurt is causing you physical symptoms.

Hope this helps,

Jasmine