I’m not exactly sure what you did to “so many people” but I believe you’re over thinking it. I recommend the best thing for you to do is contact all of the people that you’ve ‘done wrong’ and communicate with each and every one of them. It is so under rated for us to simply talk it out with others nowadays and it’s a big shame. Talk to them and tell them how you feel about the situation. Ask any questions that you need answers to, so you can finally rest your mind. If you keep it in your head you will continue to over think which is not going to help. Nevertheless, if it’s necessary just ask for a genuine apology and mean it! Whether they do or don’t is up to them, but that is all you can do. Forgive yourself for the mistake and move on with your life.

You say you have many questions that whirl in your mind, write them down! Look up on Google “GTD”. It is a program to be more productive and way more organized with your thoughts/plans. It’s a really good destressor because when you jot down the things you want to do, it clears your mind and the extra energy can be used to focus on things you really want to do(goals, ambitions, development, etc).

It’s great that you’re humble enough to accept how some other guy might just be better for your ex. You can’t force anything in this world, as it will make things go sour. Let her go on her own path but more importantly, give yourself permission to continue living your life too. I’ve been single for over 5 years and I’m extremely happy with the person I’ve become because of the continuous positive recurrence in my daily life. I surround myself with positive music, positive activities that I LOVE doing, and only feed positive text into my brain. TURN OFF the television. I wish you can do the same, even if it’s temporary, so you can see the amazing things that happen when you fill your life with positive energy.