I am not fed up with you 🙂 That’s just what you believe, but it’s not the truth.

You don’t have to understand things fast. Life altering ideas usually take time for everyone. They slowly sink in and then some day perhaps a light bulb will light up.

It’s hard to explain those things in steps, but let me try:

Step 1. Stop saying things like “people are fed up with me”. Just stop it. The more you say it, the more it is imprinted in your mind that it would be the truth, and it isn’t. Don’t talk about yourself in a negative way. Those words hold you down more than you know.

Step 2. When words start to pop into your mind that say that you’re not good enough, don’t grab onto them and take them as truth. It’s just a belief that you’ve bought into and keep telling yourself. If you stop telling yourself that, the belief will change.

Step 3. Enjoy silence. When by yourself or with people. Don’t talk, just listen and see and feel. Don’t try to explain what is happening or make assumptions. Just enjoy the presence of other people.

Step 4. If you get frightened or anxious, take a moment and breathe deeply. Allow the physical feeling to calm down before you allow your mind to start making assumptions on what you should do. The feelings come and go.

Step 5. Give yourself the same compassion that you would give to another person who you see was hurting. This could very well be step 1 as well, but I’m worried that you might not allow yourself to feel compassion as your mind keeps telling yourself that you’re not good enough.

In addition, I would also seek a support group where you could listen to others who have been through similar things as you. Seeing a psychiatrist or a doctor is difficult, because it becomes about they versus your outer child, who’s acting out. Just like it happens in here. We can tell you what you should probably do, and then you might take it as a perceived attack and you start to resist. It might do good for you to also just listen and not argue, as well as talk yourself about your experiences and let other people listen without it becoming a discussion. Those situations allow you to feel in a safe space, but without starting to think too much or get too defensive.