@Jasmine-3
thanks J… yeah..i see your point.. the golden rule… do unto others what you want you want do unto you.. correct?..:)… i know it may sound bizarre right now.. but after opening up here at tiny buddha i found myself gradually being at peace.. thank you..
yes.. i must admit, that was weakness on my part.. wishing to end it all… in the past i would even cut myself on my inner arm just so i can distract myself with physical pain instead of the numbing pain in my chest that seems to be paralyzing me…i just make sure no one sees it for fear of being called disturbed.. i ceased on doing that.. with my present situation i was able to face the pain.. and let the tears cleanse me of it all…

@yoda428
thanks for understanding..:)..and yes, back then i always wanted to be in control of things.. but now, i learned to juust let it be.. things i have no control of.. other people.. circumstances.. i learned to let go of all those.. im still learning though… :)..

to everyone…
finding peace at last.. for all the responses i had received of my two posts here at tiny buddha.. it helped me a lot to finally make a decision… thank you all for enlightening my path… you’re all God sent.. and im really gratefull… may He bless you for always…