I told one of my friends, “Don’t qualify a compliment.” (compliment plus “but”)

It worked!

Next time she hurts your feelings, can just say “I can’t believe you said that” and let her sit with it for a while. Then when she contacts you again you can say, “Are we going to have a repeat of your (her latest quote that made you feel bad) fiasco?” Now she knows that you can’t be put down so easily, that you’ll call her on it, and she is not in some perceived power position.

The friendship will crumble after that or she may start treating you with respect.

But honestly? I would spend my energy enjoying the company of non-toxic friends!