I’m so sorry for all you’ve dealt with. I’m struggling recently lately with the thought of “what do i do to deserve this?” so, I somewhat understand that mindset.

I can’t answer if it will ever end, but I can assure you that you have complete control of that. Why ruin your future because of your past? You’re happy with your new boyfriend – and of course, when you’re happy, there’s more of a possibility you can get sad again. Maybe he will hurt you, but, hey, maybe he won’t?

Sounds like with everything you’ve been through, you can handle anything. Why not look at yourself as a warrior rather than a victim? People can be terrible, but that doesn’t have to make you a miserable as them. You seem to see the beauty in the world. Use that. And who is to tell you that you can’t follow your passion and study science? Don’t let the rules on your disorder restrict what you can and cannot do anymore that it may do that’s out of your control.

I hope everything works out for you. Try to keep seeing the beauty even when it’s hard to.