hello.i’m new member here.(sorry for my english,if there are mistakes)
i think that your ex truly brings the worst out of you.I don’t think you are a bad person but this guy doesn’t deserve you.
You have to find another person to live with cause this human being gets on your nerves.
When somebody don’t understand us, and makes us angry, anxious, sad, we must get rid of him. This is the ‘difficult’ part because we have feelings we can’t hide from ourselves but we must go on.
everyone is unique and we deserve a happy life without regret,sadness.

Some things that your ex did are not so brave. He wants to hide some thoughts and things which destroys every relationship.
we have to be authentic and open-hearted with a person we love…he doesn’t do it.
so, we can’t trust a person that hides sth from us.If there is not trust,any relationship can grow.

To truly find yourself you must gain the life you desire by letting go of his beliefs.
interracting with people that makes us feel bad,unfortunately we take bad reactions from them. we influenced by them and then we running fast to find ourselves. It’s a long go.