Thank you Tiny Ng for the great reply. Yes, I tell myself every day to just go “do my own thing” and not worry about if I’m there when he gets home or not. It’s just finding something to do that’s tough. I really should use that time to join an exercise class, yes. Why not work on my body instead of wasting away!!

Deep down I think we’ve just lost connection with each other and that’s why I’ve become like I am. I feel like if I’m there, we’ll reconnect…if I go have my own life, he’ll enjoy that a little too much and we’ll grow further apart. Everything I’ve read says that pulling away and being independent actually brings the guy closer. Perhaps that’s true for others, but my bf has never been that way. He’s never come to me asking for more time/attention, even when we lived alone and would go a couple weeks without seeing each other. I never felt missed by him.

Since I don’t recognize who I am anymore, feel like I’m not connected at all to my bf, maybe the question to ask isn’t “what should I do with my time” but instead “is this really the right guy for me?” Hard call when I’m 37 and there isn’t a buffet of guys to choose from anymore. So much to think about but it’s comforting to know others go through the same thing. And it helps to just write on here, if nothing else!

Thanks again!