Trust your instincts, even if they don’t make sense to you at the time. Your unwillingness to commit to him and living together was not random, there was a reason for it and you listened to your heart–which is always always a good thing.
There are some people we come across in life that make absolutely wonderful companions. They share your dreams, they build you up and they make you feel beautiful. I completely empathize and understand why it is so hard to let that go, because you fear you’ll never find someone like that again. Understand though that often times we search for people to fill our voids, rather than being content with someone who can complement us when we’re already whole. Make sure that you aren’t depending on him to make you feel complete; that is a journey that should be reached entirely on your own.
Time apart from each other with minimal to no contact is the best for now. This makes you reevaluate your priorities, your wants/needs, etc. Time alone is time well spent–it helps you reflect without the influence of another person.
Also, keep in mind that while it is essential and vital to work on any and ALL problems in a turbulent relationship, there are some obstacles that simply cannot be fixed and like you said “causing more damage than good”. Your goal is to always make progress with someone, not regress and take one step forward, two steps back.
If you two are meant to be together, it will happen. Maybe not now but somewhere down the road. Until then, listen to those gut feelings you have and if any part of you feels hesitation in being with him (even a slight speck of doubt), trust it. Your heart is telling you what’s best for you.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 