Hi MollyKat,

First of all – my heart goes out to you. This is a very tough situation that you’re in and it sounds like you’ve been dealing with it very courageously. Guilt is a really brutal emotion and it sounds like your relationship with this man instilled a lot of very complicated things. What I can promise you is this – you did the right thing. Nobody is saying that he is a bad man but he obviously has a good deal of complicated issues of his own and he needs to work through those things. To me, it sounds like he has many deeply rooted sexual issues that have the potential to be very dangerous and abusive – and I know that you have seen those. The baseline is this : as much as you love him, you can’t fix him and the best way that you can help him help himself is by moving on and doing so from a place of love. He needs to come to a solution for his issues organically – on his own – or it will never stick. And you, dear one, just need to take really good care of yourself. Throw out your lines, talk to your friends and family, make or buy yourself good food, get enough sleep, allow yourself to feel all of the emotions but also know that you are incredible and that, when you’re ready, you absolutely will find someone who will match you in strength, integrity and tenderness. All of the best to you.

Ashley