Kate,

I feel your pain. Really. I’ve been there several times in my life. I’ve been so low after a couple breakups that I discovered rock bottom actually has a basement. And I believe that it had a lot to do with the lack of a support system. I didn’t really have much family or friends to talk it out with so I kept it to myself. But you know what? I told myself each and every time that I’ve been through this before and I’ve survived it 100% of the time. And when I was ready, I got back out there and met a new person. Each time I developed a new relationship (granted, I had to kiss a lot of frogs first), it made me ask myself “I’m so happy to have met this person. Why was I so depressed after losing Guy A? I never would have met Guy B if the road hadn’t taken me here! Yes, it’s ironic that the relationships ended with Guy B, Guy C, Guy D and so forth also, but my point is that I came out of complete devastation each and every time. Looking back, I remember the extreme pain and depression I was in, remember thinking that I’ll never get over it, no one can help me, but I’m sitting here today in complete contentment with my life. I’m not mourning the loss of one single relationship.

I would not say I’m in the healthiest of relationships right now and have a lot of heavy thinking to do moving forward. However, I’m still grateful for where I am today, what I’ve gone through, and consider my life way better off having “unanswered prayers” for what I thought I wanted at the time. You may not feel like going out, showering, eating, moving on, working out, etc. right now….but each day you’ll get stronger and stronger. And I know it’s really hard to believe that. But as a responder above noted, don’t ask “why me?”. Take comfort in the fact that probably everyone on the planet would have to ask themselves that at some point because I know very few adults that have never had their heart broken. It isn’t just you. It’s millions and millions of people experiencing similar pain. Maybe we can all chant “why us?”

Hang in there. Make any small step that you can. If time doesn’t heal all wounds, I believe it will at least reduce to a dull occasional throbbing, worst case. Best case, you’ll come out of this and soar!

Good luck to you.