Atheist was my ex.
Who taken away my beliefs because he didn’t believe in anything, his life was colourless and no fantasy because he is obviously too one sided. What i am trying to say is, you are right. Those who don’t believe, and diss other people’s beliefs are not genuinely happy, even though they thinks that they are. They are not yet close to an inch of happiness and a blissful life.
I also have emotional numbness and everyday its like war to myself, no one will understand this feeling unless they go through it. I didnt care the fact that i broke up with the ex, its a normal thing. But it was more of a broken up with myself, lost your identity, lost the ability to feel life is the worse thing that could happen to any body. You don’t feel pain, you don’t feel happy either, you’re simply just there being alive but dead inside.
I don’t believe in medication, i believe in our mind that we can be strong enough to over anything. As positive a person i was and i am, i still did not escape from depression and emotional numbness. As i becoming to accepting the fact that this is where i am now, it will stop me from growing and it will stopping me to fully feel the happiness of beautiful things, changes in life and accomplishments I’m about to make. I have to yet wait for the right time, and hope and pray and trying to find my way back to what i believe in and fully have love for it, and love for myself like i once had.
I understand how you feel, i could never tell this to anybody as they don’t understand until they going through and would not know how to get out. Ive been through so many hardships to finally be awaken and feel alive and access to fully love in bless, and within a year all what i have built taken away from me, and 8 months later crying for what i have lost of my achievements. But i do believe that, things will get better and this too shall pass if we be positive.
I literally just came back from the park, siting on a tree, praying to the moon to help me. I am a highly believer of nature, yet i could not feel the love for it as much as i used to. And rarely, i could feel the connection with nature again and it made me feel alive for a day. We need to get out of this black hole as its sucking us in.
Emotional numbness and depression is the worseeeee thing that could happen to any body.
As about the mother and daughter.
If someone was to tell me that, sure i will be offended. But i won’t think too much, the reason is… no body truly know what they do is right or wrong, we are never right or wrong. What is right for them might be wrong to us, what is wrong to us might be right to them. The thing is, everyone believe in different things and we cannot judge them for thinking that way… as long they are happy, bless them. They might be on a right track for their paths even if its wrong to us.
Love is heaven.
How you love determine how you die, this is my personal life attitude.
Depression and numbness is not a choice, it happens but i believe we can over come it if we are positive. RMB don’t bottle up.
I really admire that you take the time to right all that, sometimes i couldn’t be eff writing that long and most likely not reading something so long either but I’m glad i did.
<3