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Luna

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  • #109228
    Luna
    Participant

    I smiled so warmly when i saw your post πŸ™‚
    Mother nature opened my eyes in such a beautiful way. The thing i learnt from her is…
    1) She let me see life in her view
    2) Trees have feelings too!
    3) Trees suffers
    4) The earth are dying
    5) Compassion to all livings
    6) Oneness, we are all connected, we will die and return back to mother earth and becomes fertiliser.
    7) Happiness
    8) Less is more
    9) I understand magic exists in life such as rainbow, flowers, beautiful animals, morning and night, sun rise and sunset, the fogs, fire… everything is magical
    10) Wisdom… you can resonate with so many things by just observing nature
    11) See things for it really is, not what you think it is
    12) Acceptance
    13) Letting go
    14) Solitude
    15) True love
    16) Silence is golden
    17) Empathy
    18) Energy
    19) Philosophy
    20) Self love

    I think i can go on forever, but most i mentioned i don’t say specially why she made me understand acceptance or true love and letting go, because i would be sitting here all night writing about it hahah! But she is my belief, I am buddhism but i think Nature is my religion, i believe in her lessons. She is just… i cant have a word to describe her, she is so big in my eyes. I am so small but i felt so big when i love her.
    Hippy at heart, she let me in her world and helped me understand life in a magical, gentle way. I felt so honoured and special.
    Unfortunately, i am unable to feel that these days πŸ™‚ But i will never forget the feelings i have had the opportunity to share with her.

    #109225
    Luna
    Participant

    Hi James
    I am experiencing the same feeling you are feeling at the moment. And i understand how you feel, it is depression if you don’t feel the excitement for the things that you used to love anymore.
    I too, had an amazing connection with Mother Nature… she opened my eyes to oneness and i felt connected to all living things. i understood life like i was never before and everyday, my day begins like it was magic.
    After a traumatised relationship, i have lost that connection i had with her. In a way, i felt like death inside… a living body with a dead soul, i just couldn’t feel a thing. But loosing the ability to love animals and connecting to nature was what upsetting me the most. And every single day for 3 years i was battling myself to understand why i am feeling this way. I understood now, but i too wish i could able to feel and love nature in such a pure way again. It felt like i have lost my innocent.

    So here, is what i thought about your situation.
    You are battling with yourself way too much, negative self talk and letting yourself go of doing things you don’t believing in was the reason you are slowly being dragged away from feeling love with nature. Into the material world, a world you don’t believing in, because you understand less is more. Nature is what made you the happiest and truly alive.

    Reason that you scoff at people whom talks about spirituality because you know what its like to be TRULY CONNECTED, not shit people reads from other people’s perspective. That isn’t from their own… thats why you don’t believe in them.
    But hey, you are not being kind to yourself. You judge other, and then judge yourself for being mean. Does it feels like no body understand the state you were and that person you were so proud of was the one connected to nature?
    Nobody knows that, but you. You feel alone, unable to share that beautiful part of life to people so they would understand why you are being skeptical.

    I think, you have been focusing on your mother’s well being and disregard about your own, stuck in a dead end job with no happiness… you drained yourself with your energy. You were this 100% human being, and you gave 60 to your mother and grieving from yourself, 30 to your dead end job. I always think that, the energy you focusing on something is investing yourself in it.

    You have focused 90% of yourself to every negative aspects, and you only have that 10% to remember of who you were. You were investing so much of yourself away to things that does not give you happiness… so you become drained.

    Most people cannot share your feelings James, and cannot understand where you are coming from… because, its not like everyday you come across a person that felt an intense euphoric feeling towards nature and appreciate simplicity and solitude.

    I have learnt to accept that not many will understand this feeling, i sometime still cry walking into a forest because i felt the trees pain but the person whom was with me, will never understand that feeling and they even admit it that they have never connected to nature in such a way. You are a super sensitive soul… that was reason why you could connect to nature.

    James you know what is truly living, its ok if you don’t feel it. Still live within it, be true to your authentic self and don’t stir away from it. I don’t think counselling or anything would help so much because like i said… not many people connects with nature in a very intimate way. But sure everyone feels relaxed when they are with nature, its a different thing than to understand nature and study about her, and felt her so alive. Its so different ..

    i hope you can stay open, don’t roll your eyes, don’t scoff at people… Because they are too, is trying to figuring themselves out. Allow yourself to judge, because if you can not feel other ways then let yourself be rather than judge people, and then judge yourself. When you allowing yourself to feel that way, accepting that you are unable to feel love for people at the moment is allowing love for yourself. Slowly you will be more kind towards yourself and that will soften you to the outside… but please be mindful of judging people because you can judge, but understand why you are doing it and accepting it, and no negative self talk. You are being hard on yourself, you have been through such a tough time, you need love from yourself and you don’t need anymore tough time causing from your ownself. People may not understand your experience but I’m sure they all have good intention… When you don’t feel genuineness its probably true, but remember they too have probably experience something very bad, that is causing them ego and being not genuine. πŸ™ its sad, but i hope you are softer to the world and towards yourself mainly.

    I love summer, even when i don’t feel connected to nature but i would always try to take myself to go somewhere in nature and spend time there. Even go for a swim at 6am, do something different. Even if you don’t feel it, just do it. You are investing your energy into things that will investing back in you for good energy πŸ™‚

    Don’t be harsh on yourself, you have suffer enough. You need love from yourself if you want to feel love from nature again. It all comes from within.
    <3

    #109216
    Luna
    Participant

    Sorry i think m reply was so long so i couldst post it all, so i had to separate the paragraphs. Its always nice to know that you’re not alone on this journey.

    #109215
    Luna
    Participant

    And I think we all secretly judging but the cute ones would be mindful about it. Judging doesn’t have to be hatred, it could just means you see a different side of the object (general objects are all external things on earth including all living things) not as in object is an object if you know what I mean.
    But it doesn’t mean you think bad of them, just feel some energy stuff. That is a very very subtle way of judgment we probably don’t even realise it. But it is, no judgement is no attachment or feeling toward objects because you understand it is not absolute, and two it is an illusion, and 3 compassion and empathy.

    Man, I’ll just be what I want to be. I will be judged but as long I don’t judge myself… I think, that makes me quiet honest to myself to keep on thriving to be achieve non judgement.

    I knoww when I achieved that, I will look back to this post and thinking. πŸ™ I wish I never had, but here is the real me and what I think about judgement and allowing myself to be with the flow on the state life is flowing at the moment.”

    These you mentioned are symptom of depression but please don’t think too much about it, but rather accepting it. It is also a bless to be experience life in this extreme emotionless kind of way, not everyone reach to this point of feeling nothing you know..?
    But i know the feeling of unable to feel, unable to enjoy the things you used to enjoy, no excitement, even if everything in your life is progressing but you are feeling like time isn’t moving and, i don’t know if you feel this way but i was having trouble of letting go of the past. The girl whom i thought i was beautiful, i was so just myself, sweet and loved life, i lost my innocent now.
    You need time, and lots of time… it might takes years. its been 3 years for me and things gets better very very slowly. But i hope you do have a great support behind and be open to people (only to those whom cares about you) because when you don’t be careful, it will make you feel worse.
    There are so much to even discuss about this, its more than just a normal experience. Its definately unbalance spiritually. There are blockages that needs to flow through body, if you have heard of chakras.
    Kirsty, try your best to let yourself feel how you are feeling… remember to be kind to who you are. Don’t binge eat, don’t so certain things that is letting yourself go. Because when you gain feelings again, trust me you will look back like i did and wish that you’ve never let yourself go, because now you have to work hard to gain the physical aspect again. Please ask more, as i have no idea what to specially answer <3 Much love to you, you are definately entering a different phase in life that MANY PEOPLE won’t have a chance to. And once you heal, you can use this to help others. Because this is such a deep end, its hopeless and dark and absolute emptiness. But time will heal you, i promise πŸ™‚ Keep up that smile even when you don’t feel it. Remember each day is a chance, even if you don’t feel it.. one day, you will! Keep believing and stay true to who you were.. that kind and loving Kirty.

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by Luna.
    #109211
    Luna
    Participant

    But it works! And it’s ok! Feel whatever the f you want it’s okkkk!!

    How this mindfulness way of thinking helped me to surpass judgement of others because I can accept myself and not creating self hatred. When I judged people for whatever reason they are, then I feel like shit. Like I was never like this, why I am like this? I’m a bad person, people just trying to express. Maybe not the way you wanted to hear or see or feel. But man all this egotistical people all trying m to passing on something to people but haven’t break pass that wall to cover their ass, because they are too worried of being judged, so they created what comes back to them. What comes out must goes back in the same place.
    And when I thought bad at myself, I was unable to feel the love of myself. I hated me for being so mean to people and not understand for them, because I know who I am. I was there when no judgement existed and all I saw was beauty. That to me was who I knew of myself. The best version I have become, and then shit happened and then you started loosing shit, you know.

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by Luna.
    #109209
    Luna
    Participant

    Dear Kirty. πŸ™‚
    I understand exactly how you are feeling, may i asked what made you change?
    You are being giving judgement toward others but worse… you are going judgement toward yourself. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I know exactly how you feel, where i was at… i asked myself the same same same question. I was at a stage of life where all i see was beauty, then something really bad happened, slowly i only see negative things and slowly and slower i progressed into a bitter person. however, i have been much better lately and there is something i wrote just yesterday and i think it is perfect timing, i think it was meant to be for you and me too.
    Here it is what i wrote about myself and you can also relate.

    “Sorry that I judge.
    But I will allowed myself to do so.
    I know it’s a state right now, my heart just isn’t feeling it. There is not yet enough warmth I have created for myself.
    So, I will judge when I want and I won’t when I can’t feel the judgement but love.
    Every day is a different day, you can’t feel the same shit forever let’s face it.
    Because what is the worse? Judging people when you don’t mean it, or you judging people and then judging yourself? I think judging yourself is the worse… Because the worse of the worse is not allowing yourself to be at whatever state you are in at right now, if you can’t feel it yet, you can’t control it. Then just let yourself be, it’s a way of letting out shit… It feels lonely, when you judge others and also judge yourself. You are forever alone, because not even you can be there for yourself. That, to me is the worse…
    Let you be where the state of your life is taking you at now. Self hate is not allowing room for self love. But if you could judge other, then allow yourself to be so, aware of your action and be mindful about it. Atleast there are some love you have given for yourself. There are abit of mercy, and when there is so… Mindfulness exist
    .. You are more gentle towards yourself, you will be softer to the outside. Allow yourself to be what you are, it’s ok. We are all struggling, trying to figure out ourselves. And it’s absolutely ok to be where you are right now. Soon, when you feel it and you will do what feels right.
    The worse of the worse is blaming others then blaming ourselves.
    But if we can understand, this is where I am at life right now. I will learn someday.
    That is mindfulness, in a very selfish way

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by Luna.
    • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by Luna.
    #66113
    Luna
    Participant

    Atheist was my ex.
    Who taken away my beliefs because he didn’t believe in anything, his life was colourless and no fantasy because he is obviously too one sided. What i am trying to say is, you are right. Those who don’t believe, and diss other people’s beliefs are not genuinely happy, even though they thinks that they are. They are not yet close to an inch of happiness and a blissful life.
    I also have emotional numbness and everyday its like war to myself, no one will understand this feeling unless they go through it. I didnt care the fact that i broke up with the ex, its a normal thing. But it was more of a broken up with myself, lost your identity, lost the ability to feel life is the worse thing that could happen to any body. You don’t feel pain, you don’t feel happy either, you’re simply just there being alive but dead inside.
    I don’t believe in medication, i believe in our mind that we can be strong enough to over anything. As positive a person i was and i am, i still did not escape from depression and emotional numbness. As i becoming to accepting the fact that this is where i am now, it will stop me from growing and it will stopping me to fully feel the happiness of beautiful things, changes in life and accomplishments I’m about to make. I have to yet wait for the right time, and hope and pray and trying to find my way back to what i believe in and fully have love for it, and love for myself like i once had.
    I understand how you feel, i could never tell this to anybody as they don’t understand until they going through and would not know how to get out. Ive been through so many hardships to finally be awaken and feel alive and access to fully love in bless, and within a year all what i have built taken away from me, and 8 months later crying for what i have lost of my achievements. But i do believe that, things will get better and this too shall pass if we be positive.
    I literally just came back from the park, siting on a tree, praying to the moon to help me. I am a highly believer of nature, yet i could not feel the love for it as much as i used to. And rarely, i could feel the connection with nature again and it made me feel alive for a day. We need to get out of this black hole as its sucking us in.
    Emotional numbness and depression is the worseeeee thing that could happen to any body.
    As about the mother and daughter.
    If someone was to tell me that, sure i will be offended. But i won’t think too much, the reason is… no body truly know what they do is right or wrong, we are never right or wrong. What is right for them might be wrong to us, what is wrong to us might be right to them. The thing is, everyone believe in different things and we cannot judge them for thinking that way… as long they are happy, bless them. They might be on a right track for their paths even if its wrong to us.
    Love is heaven.
    How you love determine how you die, this is my personal life attitude.
    Depression and numbness is not a choice, it happens but i believe we can over come it if we are positive. RMB don’t bottle up.
    I really admire that you take the time to right all that, sometimes i couldn’t be eff writing that long and most likely not reading something so long either but I’m glad i did.
    <3

    #65350
    Luna
    Participant

    hi there, if you are asking for advice or a question… i think you have already made up your mind and know exactly what your heart wants. If it works, it would have worked a long time ago… you wouldn’t even have to think twice, and you would not be here to discuses the situation andddd….. you would not fall for that man.
    There is nothing to say in this, but i can feel so much pain that you have to go through right now, the decision is harder as your children are still young. But the longer you leave, risks are more damage for both children and yourself and your husband. Im not trying to advice to do anything, i am just speaking my opinion about your circumstance.
    Came from a family where my parents divorced when i was young, it was hurt but maybe it hurts a little less because i was very young and innocent to realise things, but if my parents were to divorce now… i can accept it, but i would be very hurt.
    Sooner than later…
    Your chemistry with the man 30 years ago, must been very strong for you both to reconnected again. Once its there, it’d always be there.
    I hope you all the best.
    This relationship is headache and emotional drainage, I’ve learnt to not leave things any longer if it don’t feel right, its probably not right.
    <3
    Goodluck

    #60704
    Luna
    Participant

    undertand the why and regonise the who, and watch yourself conquer your world πŸ˜€
    HIIII JASMINE!! It’s been a long time, you are still the same… So active! Helping others in need. <3 Bless you beautiful soul.

    #60703
    Luna
    Participant

    Hi Amanda πŸ™‚
    20 years of age, and recently i just got away from the ego again! Ego comes in so many forms, relationship, friendship, society etc…… the list goes on…. and i got out of the ego in relationship and was recently facing the ego of society, which i believe is what you going through at the moment. We will come across many ego to face, and life is all problem solving. Just think positive and knowing who you are.
    How i coped with it?
    I deactivated my Facebook, i stop going out for 2 months only see friends who i love and can have fun with, who will only lift me up.
    I spend my time alone more and more, and solitude is a cure for ego.
    By spending time alone, you are recognising that you are not in any body else’s world but your own. You creating a world that no one can enter but you!
    Be alone will open doors to your soul, let you meet your inner self and you will slowly recognising who you are and you will fall in love with yourself.
    When you are with other people, constantly seeing them, hanging out with them, talking to them and whatever else, you are subconsciously adapting their habits, you starting to think like them, talk like them, act like them… you even pick up on their insecurities.
    To be original, to be YOURSELF. I suggest you to spend a little time alone, create time for yourself, get to know yourself, write down what you have learn, how you have come so far, what is good about you…and enjoy being YOU.
    No one is as original as you.
    Like Inky said, meditation is a great way, but if you don’t meditate (cause I’m a sucker at it :D) just spend time in nature, draw, sing, cook, dance, write… be a kid again, spend time with nobody but yourself.
    I hope my experience could help you, it’s not easy but it’s not hard. I was thinking and thinking so much that i was like, ok i need to snap out of it, i need to think positive i need to remember my purpose of being here on earth and little things like that don’t bother me, people are suffering because of hunger out there and i am here stressing about my little insecurities.
    Like who caresss… they can judge and think about us all they wants, at the end of the day.
    We are the one who creating our own life and they are no one but the people outside our walls.
    Much love.

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by Luna.
    #60699
    Luna
    Participant

    Hi there πŸ™‚
    In what you said, and asking questions to yourself. I see that you are a deep thinker.
    I am abit like you in that way, but i really make effort to form new friendships.
    Sometimes thinking too much can lead to talk to people with unnaturally, how you feel inside people would pick up on your vibes.
    Do you feel awkward or unnatural when speaking with someone?
    Are you an introvert?
    Do you feel people’s vibes when you speak to them?
    Maybe you are just different from the rest, that’s why you don’t have many things to speak to them about.
    Reason i say all this, because it is coming from my experience.
    As i do make a lot of friends, but the thing is… i don’t get along with them.
    I am really easy going, but it’s hard for me to meet people who is like minded who shares the same interest and i pick up on people’s vibes and feelings. I am an observer, so sometimes i sense their insecurities, it’s kinda make me feel uncomfortable around them.
    Loneliness can be the worse thing ever, and having a partner makes it seem a little bit easier as he is your only one best friend.
    But i suggest you to seek relationship with self first, i could be wrong. You might have known all these already. But i hope it would help :).
    Much love. <3

    #55127
    Luna
    Participant

    hi there πŸ™‚ its nice that your user name is also luna but with an ‘r’ at the end πŸ˜€ hahha
    Anyways, sorry for the late reply. I was thinking the same thing if i was to read your message earlier. If you was to send her email you should. If you were wanting to reach to her for an explanation, you should. Whatever you want or need to do, you should. And after whatever that you should do, you will feel better and whatever the result maybe, you now know the answer πŸ™‚
    See, whatever you feel right.. follow it, follow your heart. it never lead you to the wrong place πŸ™‚
    I wish you all the best, this will be a great journey ahead of you, from today new beginning <3

    #55024
    Luna
    Participant

    hey there.
    I thin you’re very heart broken right now because again, i keep seeing this in every person who is broken hearted and can’t get over it..
    is:
    1.you did not understand why and how she have become so cold, you guys were in love.
    2.You never have an explain from her
    3.No comfort from her, and you don’t understand how a person used to love you, going to be your fiancΓ© can be so heartless.
    4. You live and do everything for her, study for her and invest your time on her and do whatever you can to make her fall in love with you again.. you did way too much.
    5. You have bee rejected by her many times so it makes you want to chase her more and more.
    Please read this, you may can get some motivation and can relate to this man.
    http://tinybuddha.com/topic/im-lost-and-completely-hopeless-after-my-brutal-breakup/
    She might have lied to you about if she have moved on. But find out once you’re ready, i mean words will come around.. Don’t look for it now as you’re not ready but just believe that she is moving on anyways. But if you can’t do that, the best way is to know and find out and face your fear. Once you know there is nothing left, you won’t come back.. This is what i can offer you right now.
    I hope you’ll find your self in time.
    What i wrote to that man, is also my words to you too πŸ™‚
    Please move on, you’re a good man and life have so much to offer and if you don’t let go of the old, the new beginning will never start.
    peace and love <3

    #55008
    Luna
    Participant

    Thankyou Bob!
    You are so right about your random act of kindness, i will forever stick what you said there in my head! Be kind and receive love <3
    We will spread our positivity disease to the world πŸ™‚

    #55007
    Luna
    Participant

    Thankyou so much Jasmine, you always have the nicest thing to say to people <3 i don’t know how you look like, but you’re beautiful to me <3 Have a great Easter!

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