“I am trying to find the understanding between acceptance vs changing my belief system so that it becomes easier for me to accept. Does that make senss? Does anyone have any input to help me bridge the gap? Thanks. ”

You should ask yourself the question why you hold such beliefs. You have a first answer as you say that’s because those are things you grew up with, its your tradition and culture. However, try to go one level further with your inquiry. Why does your culture hold such beliefs? Because they believe they are right somehow, they make your community function as a society, and people who abide to these common rules, collaborate together more easily.
With a belief system, people knows what to expect in a given situation and knows when they are treated right or wrong. That’s an immediate emotion, you do not rationalize, but you feel inside you. So you may hold some expectations of your boyfriend, he never felt compelled to follow and you get disappointed automatically. You may try to grasp those emotion and sort them out.
Now, you’ve got a tiny society with your boyfriend, where the rules can be created anew. You may learn what to expect from each other in a given situation, you may define what is right and what is wrong between you two. This takes time and may work if there is enough goodwill from both sides. You are not changing your belief system, you are expanding upon it, you are making it wider and able to accept the other differences. You are shifting from believing that your culture is right to believing that your culture is right for its people, but not for your couple.

Though, I must say, that if you boyfriend said he is accepting you they way you are, he is also expecting your are doing the same. You may try to challenge the position if the rule “everybody does whatever pleases them” does not really fit with you. For every expectation you hold and he does not comply to, ask yourself why is that expectation useful to your society and your culture, what deep need does that rule try to satisfy. Discuss that very reason with your boyfriend, so that you may find some compromise that still satisfy that need. This quite theoretic and I cannot give a better advice, unless I know what your actual expectations are and how he behaves.

One more thing, during these discussion, you may find something you do not agree about at all. Something that nobody of you wants to explore further or wants to discuss. At that point you should ask yourself whether that’s a minor problem (easily compensated by other good things) or a major one. It its a minor one, in order to minimize your discomfort, try visualize the good things he does when he acts they way you do not like, think that those good things compensate his “bad” behavior somehow. It its a major one, you should seriously consider a break-up or exploring further your reason. Tough with time he may as well open up.

Anyway, everything I stated requires effort, and I cannot estimate how much since you gave me no complete details. So you have also to choose between committing to this work for some months and see how things go or considering a break-up and find someone who already fits your view.