I think if you left town you would still be triggered. That “I was run out of town” feeling. If you have a job and a place to stay, and would live there anyway if you never met your ex ~ then stay. Staying in your own home is a sign of strength, of self-respect.

You can also re-write the script. Tell the mutual friend that you don’t want to hear about the ex when he brings him up. If you become friends with other people who know him say, “Ex and I went through a break up, actually, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t talk about him. He reacted badly.” (Of course, if they relay that back to ex and it gets back to you, say, “I’m sorry he’s still reacting badly about it.” And then repeat the script that you don’t want to talk about him.)

If he ever runs into you or contacts you say, “Stay away from me” and remove eye contact or hang up the phone.

If you know where he lives you can write a letter to him saying that since you are running into and meeting several of his friends you want him to be clear that “Remember It’s Over. Please don’t go to gatherings if you hear I’m there. There’s no need to respond.” Then send it with no forwarding address. You have now Flipped the script and regained control.

This is not kosher, but it’s not a lie, either. Now go hold your head up high in your new town.