Hi Yanmei,

I’m glad you could find something useful among my words.

Maybe it’s an hard thing to accept that we cannot control everything. When we call a person ours, it may become difficult to acknowledge they still have the right to their own choices and to their time. Your boyfriend is first of all a boyfriend, then he is yours. He is another person and that’s the fun part: he adds something new to the couple. Please feel honored by the time he decides to spend with you, he welcomes you in his life and that’s precious gift. Feel proud of the time you decide to spend with him, you welcome him in your life and that’s a precious gift.

If sometimes he does something you do not like, please acknowledge his right to choose, you may eventually find out that’s a good thing for him and maybe for you as well. Or you my find a reason to point to him that what he chose to do was not such a great idea. However, resist the temptation to give the faults to others. It’s easier to be angry with his sister rather than with him for his choice, you are close to him and far from her. Please, consider that his sister may be thinking the same thing about you, that you are taking his brother away and making him do something she does not like. Maybe your fondness for him can be a nice common point for a friendship, rather than a point of contention.

Good luck with your fortress, build one spare room, you never know when you may have guests.