Hey Steve,

I am not sure what happened in the relationship part that you mentioned above but I am assuming that the two of you broke up and it is hurting you right now.

So I will give you my two-cents on this. I went through a break up over two months ago with a girl I was with for almost four years. It hurt me too, all of it. However, long story short: had I remained in that relationship, I would NOT be where I am now.

Where I am now: self-dependent, working towards my dream-career of becoming a police officer, making new friends and overall loving my life and what is to come. I became dependent on my last relationship, I became comfortable and thus I never worked hard for what I really want in life. It is something that happens to the best of us.

What I did to overcome my grief of that break up was the following:

First and foremost, I realized that I was being held back all this time, I realized that I can be so much more and now that I am free, I can work towards my dreams.

I revamped my gym routine, I now go almost everyday and I go hard, I have also begun running a lot, which is preparing me for the police physical test but also making me healthier and livelier than I have ever been in my life.

I am volunteering on the eastside, whilst meeting like-minded people along the way whom I have made friends with, some who I now run with too.

I wrote down all my goals and I read them twice everyday and I also plan out how I will achieve these goals. Try writing out right now 10 goals which you would like to achieve in the next 12 months (12 months will go by super fast).

I created and constantly repeat affirmations (look up affirmations, these are extremely powerful tools for anybody, and you should use them too). Simply saying “im the best” to yourself and repeating it will work wonders for you, believe me, because you are.

I joined this forum and shared my thoughts with others.

I started to read books such as “how to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie . I highly recommend this book for everybody, its a very genuine and fact-based book.

I also listen to Brian Tracy’s audiobook “the luck factor” and that is also pretty awesome, you can easily find the torrent for free.

all in all, these steps have changed me and I now have a very positive vibe around me. and you know what? That positive vibe just attracts more positive events in my life everyday.

So Steve, this is all in your head man, conquer your mind, and all else will fall into place. Search for what you really want, you may desire a career change, that is ok, work towards it. DO go to the gym and get ripped, it will be super fun and rewarding, not to mention the high you get after working out. Spend time with family and friends, and perhaps volunteer too. Listen to great motivational speakers, you can just youtube this kind of stuff and get it on your phone.

Once you get back on your feet and start loving yourself (which I know you will), you’ll become a better man than you ever thought possible and great things will come your way, the world can sense when people are positive and happy with themselves, it can also sense those who are negative. Be positive, your mind may refute the idea of positivity at first, but as long as you are persistent with affirmations and all the other cool thing you will do, it will no choice but to give in and accept that you are a happy and lively young man.

This is your opportunity for greatness, I realized mine and I took it and I am on the high road, now its your turn, seize this time to better yourself and find out what you want in life, and be specific. It will all come to you if you work at it.

Cheers,

Singh