I’m sure most of the time….. i hope i’m not crazy, but you know when you have ABSOLUTE certainty that is over? Like, nothing is this world could change that. I’m a very pessimist guy, always have been my entire life, so i want to move on, even because i keep rewiding the pain i felt with my other break ups. And then, all of a sudden, i feel hope (because of little signs) but also stupid, like someone said “you won’t get another chance, fool!”.

She was fine with my point of view….the problem really was me, i wanted to be right in her and everyone’s eyes. That pushed many people away. buit then i saw, that even tough i might be right, the best way to ask people to join me is trough compassion and tenderness, not hostility (silent hostilit in my case), like i used to do. So i changed i that aspect, even when she said i would never change.

You are right in every line about hers and mine behavior. She felt like i didn’t admire her…. and i showed her that i did in these two months post break up, but i feel that she thinks deep down i don’t. And she is certain that everytime a couple gets back together, it’s beautiful in the beggining, but it would end again.

i tried to stay away from those situations, like you said, but i pushed her away. She felt i didn’t trust her. We wanted to stay together forever, it was the first time in my life i ever felt that way, even when i was madly in love with the other two serious girlfriends i had. I said all those things to her when we broke up, but in the heat of the moment it would do no good, and she said i could never change…..so the next oportunities i had, i never mentioned to get back, i only pointed out how it was clear how we both wanted eachother badly, to wich she replied “i don’t know what i want….”. Did i mentioned her father is completly against us?

I truly accept that the old relationship is DEAD, and nothing will make it live again. I wouldn’t want that relationship either. I tried all you said and i’ll try it again….there is nothing else to do. I feel stupid talking about this, and i’m so sorry to bother you guys with this nonsense. I’m getting better, even with the love intact. But i feel these waves of guilt, and loliness….my job is crap now, my family members are dying, my dad appears sick… and this is one of the many situations i think about her, because we used to do this together, when she went trough the same thing. We were UNITED and stronger when those things happened to her.

Again, i’m sorry. I know it must be stupid and i’m probably overreacting.

• This reply was modified 10 years ago by Tyler Sant.