It’s too bad we don’t realize what we have until it’s gone… She is not a possession for you to “have” – we can’t “have” people, not really. We can love someone, care for them, encourage them, help in their spiritual growth. I read about all the help she provided you, but for 9 years it doesn’t sound like you did much providing for her… What about her care? What about her needs? What about her spiritual growth?

What she does with her life is her decision, and her business. Seems like you made it clear time after time after time that she was not acceptable. So this is where you are, with the results of your decisions and actions.