Hi Tyler,

No, your thoughts are not sick at all. Every parts of you need time to follow the main decision you rationality took. I understand you miss her more than ever. However, I do not think that stopping your thoughts will work. You have to change them and morph them into a less painful reality. It is true she is not there in your moment of need, but it is also true that her presence won’t solve the problem, it would just ease the pain. Aren’t there other things you may do to ease the pain? You may go to the gym and work out (that makes your energy flowing and mood improve). Didn’t you have a hobby at all before? I suppose it may not feel as pleasant as before, nonetheless, why don’t you give it a try? Can’t you try to help your sister with the plans to welcome the newborn?

When you think about your ex-girlfriend, maybe it may help to think she is still with you somehow. That past you lived together is yours, it is a gem encased in your heart. Maybe if you concentrate enough, you can still see her smiling next to you, encouraging you to face the life’s challenges and also wishing you a happy future and a new successful relationship. She is there, she may be a ghost, but you may kiss her if you want. But please keep in mind that is the ghost of the past, and is different from the person in the present. Maybe, slowly you will realize it is better a true person than a ghost and you will slowly let her go completely. Please, try to imagine your future, your career and your new relationship and try to talk to the ghost about your plans. Tell her about your present problems and show her how you would be strong to overcome these challenges. For now the ghost will be proud of you, but one day a true person will.

I’m sad to hear that your father has been diagnosed with Parkinson. I suppose you’ll become the head of the family. Why don’t you spend as much time as possible with your father, listening to his memories, his life path and maybe those secret about managing a family he never told you before? I understand it may be stressful in this time, but by helping your family I’m sure you’ll make the ghost proud of you and you’ll be more ready for your next girlfriend and future wife.