Hi Tayler,

I understand you feel that you did everything for both of you before the break-up. The things you used to do lost a part of the meaning you gave them and they seem no longer worth. You spend much more energies to do what you once did. One question though, did you agree from the start you were doing everything to make your relationship work? Or was it something you thought and tried out by yourself assuming that she thought the same?

Anyway, I see that you try your best to imagine a future girlfriend you can work eventually for. However, there is a tension between your desire to be an honourable man and your desire to be again with your ex about your feelings. I understand you talked already to her, but I suppose that in the fear to preserve your own image you did not let your true heart out. I don’t think one should be ashamed to express his deep needs. You can still be an honourable man by stating all your thoughts clearly to her, if you did not tell her already. You just have to decide whether it is inherently worth to be strong and start again independently on your path (and that’s a thing you should be proud of) or whether it is more worth to bend and follow her on her path.

In the second case, as Anne suggested ask her out and tell her all your thoughts. Tell her that you’ve been working for you both, tell her that you have an hard time at work, tell her that you just simply need her to be close. Tell her you’ll do your best to change, if she does not believe it propose a plan to show her your progresses. If she tells you that something you do did not work, write it on a piece of paper and read it as often as possible and apply it as often as possible. Act desperate and ask for help. After all you deserve it. Her answer will tell you what he thinks about you.

If you think that acting desperate will only alienate her feelings, maybe because you think she likes you because of your strength, this is just your fear because it is exactly your strength or stubbornness the thing that pushed you away from her when you did not want to accept something because you thought your way was just right. If you are ashamed because you do not want to admit you made a mistake by actually accepting or proposing the break-up, you should know that every body makes a mistake and it is not bad to ask for forgiveness. Just do not expect it, tough.