Hi Jeroen,

Having gone through something similiar recently (right down to the ex dating a much older man), I can certainly emphasis with your situation. Based on what you’ve said, if she is unlikely to change her mind, has already moved on with her life and told you that she only wants to be friends, it should be enough evidence to indicate that the relationship is over. Sure you can hang around as a friend and hope that she changes her mind but as you have already noted, it comes at the cost of jealousy, feelings of inferiority and rejection. Women, being more intuative than men can sense these feelings a mile away and very few are willing to love a man who doesn’t love himself.

I agree with Anne about it taking two to make it and that you should not take responsibility for all the issues. Based on what you’ve said, she was the one who decided to break up the relationship, the one who felt emotional afterwards and the one who decided to date a much older man. It’s important to recognise that those were she is responsible for decisions in her life, just as you are for yours.